Être Votre Ami
by MorgieSan
Summary: An A/U story set in 2003 and forward. Katherine Beckett is running from the nightmare her life has become, and as the fates would have it, she runs immediately into Richard Castle and his young daughter. Leaving this open ended, because it isn't over until I say it's over.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Notes: I'm exploring angst. Probably not nearly as fun as exploring bourbon. I would like to make it abundantly clear that I have _never_ been in a situation like this, and I honestly don't know how anyone would react. I'm not trying to make light of this kind of situation. If anyone feels offended by it, let me know and I will pull this story down. If anyone can tell me anything to make it better, I will pull it down and work on it more. I'm owning all of the errors fully so, if you see anything glaring drop me a PM and I'll fix it.

I also don't speak or write French or Croatian. I took four years of Latin, so big thanks to google translate and Mille and Yon-chan for helping out on the French front. The two of you are wonderful!

Thanks to Hallow777 for that one sentence. Thanks to Mille and Hallow and BOOKY for helping me to flesh out and beta this monster. You guys are wonderful Castle friends.

This story is set in 2003. - Important to note that. Very, very, very, very important to note that.

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><p><em><strong>THIS IS AN AU STORY! I REPEAT A/U!**_

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><p>She thought that it would only happen when he was drunk, but he wasn't ever sober anymore. She held it in. She kept her secret. She braved the darkness. She wasn't going to let her family fall apart any further. The last straw was when it happened while he was sober.<p>

She packed her bags and left. She only brought the important things. In her purse, the thick wad of money she kept under her mattress. Into her duffle bag, some clothes. The box. The book. Anything else could be replaced.

When she found herself at the airport, she didn't know where she was going to go. She just knew she had to go. She had to get away. She checked her appearance in the small compact mirror, and tried to hide the parts of the bruise that the sunglasses didn't cover one more time. With a sigh, she entered the ticketing lobby.

She chose the shortest line. Shouldering her bag she made her way over to the end of it and got there at the same time as a man and his sleeping child.

"Go ahead," he whispered and waved her on.

She swallowed the reflexive flinch when his hand moved. "No, you were here first. I insist."

"I'm afraid I won't take no for an answer, it would be rude of me not to allow you to go first." He stood fast.

"Thank you," she replied quietly, almost to the point of not being heard. She slipped into the line, drawing herself further into the baggy red sweater and ducking her head, allowing her loose curls to fall around her face. She stared down at the frays in the knee of her blue jeans, they'd seen better days, just as she had.

"Daddy? Are we there yet?" the child asked groggily, raising her red head from his shoulder and scrubbing at her eyes.

"Not yet, Pumpkin. We'll be in L.A. soon," he answered, stroking her hair.

"Can I get down?"

"Stay right beside me." He lowered her to the ground and clasped her small hand.

"I will." She held his larger hand and stood there looking around the busy airport. Her eyes settled on the person in front of her. "I'm going to see my mommy, where are you going?" She pouted when she didn't get an answer. So she took a half-step forward and tugged on the woman's sweater.

The brunette froze and tensed up immediately. She swallowed hard. She waited. Waited for the blow that wasn't coming.

"Alexis, leave her alone," he scolded, tugging the small child backwards, "Do you want a book?"

"Yes, please," she nodded and bounced next to him.

He slid the pink backpack off of his shoulder and opened it for her. "Which one do you want?"

"I want... Robinson Crusoe!"

He pulled the book out and smiled; then passed it to her and zipped the bag back.

The brunette chanced a look behind her. She guessed the child was five, six tops. Heavy reading for a little girl. Turning back to her own bag she unzipped it. The line wasn't moving, and she decided that child had the right idea. Pass the time with a book. She dug down the side of the bag and pulled out the well-worn tome.

The spine on the book was nearly worn through. There were a lot of dog-eared pages, and highlighted passages. She'd scribbled in the margins. The book had been through hell with her, and it brought her back out. She went right to her favorite page. She didn't need to see the words to know what it said, she'd memorized it. She could say it forwards, backwards, and in a couple of different languages.

The little girl had peeked over the top of her book when she heard the zipper and watched intently. She thought the lady was graceful, like a ballerina. She liked when her daddy took her to see the ballerinas and she thought that this lady looked like one, or that she could at least be one. Her eyes went wide when she saw the book and her own fingers lost their grip on her book. It clattered to the ground with a dull thud.

The woman flinched and took a step away. She shut the book and clutched it to herself.

"Sorry," the little girl quickly apologized and picked her book up, "I wore my butter fingers today."

"Happens to everyone, Lex. Did you lose your page?"

"No," she responded and shook her head quickly and went back to her book. A few minutes later she peeked over the top of her book again and watched the woman. She moved forward tentatively and stepped into the woman's line of sight. "Do... Do you want to trade?"

The woman's features softened some, but she shook her head no. "This isn't a good book for little kids."

"I already read it."

"I've," her father corrected, watching the exchange closely. He'd noticed the bruise when she shook her head.

"I've already read it," the little girl spoke again, "well, I read the parts he didn't take out. Daddy didn't think I'd notice, but it ruined the flow of the narrative." She held her book out in front of her.

The man at the counter chose that moment to get irate. His fists pounded the counter, and the woman jumped. She went pale and looked around for an escape. The shaking started as a panic attack took hold.

The man couldn't take it, "Come here, Alexis." He pulled the child behind him and stepped toward the woman, "Are you okay? Stupid question, I can tell you aren't. Look at me... please?"

The woman swallowed the lump in her throat and focused on his voice. She couldn't stop herself from stepping backwards.

"It's okay... just please look at me? Can you focus on me?" he whispered, gently, but authoritatively.

She slowly turned her head and met his eyes through her dark sunglasses.

"There we go... It's okay. He's not going to hurt you. My name is Richard." He held out his hand to shake.

She eyed him warily then took a deep breath and caught his hand, her voice was just above a whisper, "I'm Kate."

"It's nice to meet you, Kate." He shook her hand and looked over her towards the counter, the man was still going. Rick's voice was calm and soothing, "Why don't we go over there, and sit down for a while? I'm sure we could find some tea or coffee. Wait for him to get tossed out. What do you say?"

She glanced behind her and then back at the stranger. She made a decision that her gut was telling, no screaming at, her not to. "That sounds nice."

"Okay, may I?" He gestured to her bag.

"No."

"Okay." He reached down to collect his daughter and her bag.

"Where we going Daddy? We have to get tickets to California first." She closed her book and tucked it under her arm.

"We're gonna go sit down for a little while. Wait for that man to get done being bad." He waved to the man in front of them.

She wrinkled her little button nose. "He's loud. We should go."

"Okay." He stepped aside and let the woman leave first. "Is it okay if we follow you?"

"No. I'll follow you," she mumbled as she turned around to face him.

"Okay." He headed to the left and kept his pace slow. "Do you want something to drink?"

She shook her head.

He found an empty set of chairs and deposited his daughter into one. She immediately dove right back into her book. He sat next to her. He looked over at the woman who stood nervously next to a chair. "I'm not going to hurt you either."

She looked at him for several long moments before again disobeying her gut. She sat down into the seat next to him and dropped her bag onto the floor between her feet. She stayed quiet.

"Alexis, sweetheart, will you do Daddy a favor?" He turned his attention to his daughter.

"Sure," she responded happily.

It made Kate's heart hurt for all of the things she missed.

"Can you hum while you read? I love to hear you hum."

"Sure!" She quickly started humming her favorite song.

He turned back to Kate, and spoke in that same soothing tone, "I have no right to ask this question, but I'm going to. If you don't want to answer it... that's fine."

She looked out into the airport and chewed nervously on her bottom lip an almost imperceptible nod was his affirmation that he could ask.

"Who hurt you?"

She kept chewing on her lip. Her hand instinctively went to the chain around her neck and she worried with the ring attached to it. She moved her sunglasses up onto her head, and this time her gut didn't scream at her. It knew she wasn't listening. With a ragged breath she turned to face him. "My father."

He gasped when he saw the bruise. Her sunglasses had indeed hidden most of it, but the parts they hid were worst parts of the bruise. It covered her eye and spread back toward her hairline. He could tell it was still fresh. There was a cut on her cheekbone, it had barely started healing. He shook his head. He had to ask, "Are you a minor? If you are I'm going to find a cop, and I'm going to make sure that he never hurts you again. If you aren't, I'm just going to make sure he never hurts you again."

Her eyes filled with tears and she pulled he sunglasses back down. She pressed her body as far into the hard plastic chair as she could. "Twenty-three."

He sighed and then turned to comb his fingers through Alexis's hair, "Daddy is going to go get you an apple juice, will you stay right here by Kate?"

Alexis nodded and Kate gaped at him. He walked towards a little shop, glancing back now and then at the two girls.

Alexis got down and climbed into the chair her father had vacated as soon as he was in the store. "We can still trade if you want. I don't mind reading Daddy's book. I even promise to skip the parts he won't let me read. I like to read this book when I feel bad." She held her book in front of her.

"I like to read this book when I feel bad." Kate held up her copy of _In A Hail of Bullets._

"Why that one? It's not even his best one." The little girl cut straight to the point, "He's got new books. Daddy just started a series about a guy named..."

"Derrick Storm," Kate supplied. She turned her book over and looked at the photo on the back cover. When she finally made the connection her jaw dropped open and she covered her mouth with her hand. A move that hurt a lot more than it should have.

"Yeah, him. I mean, yeah, that book is good and all, but Daddy's new one is... Are you okay?" The girl had stopped babbling and looked over at Kate. She brushed her finger along the back of her Dad's picture, "I like that picture of him, he said they took it right before I was born."

"I- I'm fine," she finally answered,still trying to wrap up her mind around what just happened.

She seemed to accept the answer for what it was. "Were you going to California too?"

"I didn't know where I was going."

"You should go to California. You could be an actress or a model. My mommy is an actress, but I bet you'd be better at it than she is. You're tall, but that might just be 'cos I'm little. Are you tall? Are you gonna be an actress?"

"I'm not pretty enough for that."

"What!" the little girl exclaimed and got up on her knees in the seat. "Who told you that?" She gripped the armrest on the chair and leaned toward Kate.

"I- Uh-" Kate leaned away from the little girl.

"They lied to you. You are very pretty. I thought maybe you were a ballerina earlier, because you're so pretty. Are you a ballerina?"

She shook her head.

"I know I was supposed to be humming so I couldn't hear, but I still heard. He won't let you get hurt again. His stories aren't real, but when he's not telling stories he's not telling lies," she whispered before climbing back into her seat and picking her book back up.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x

He came back with a bottle of apple juice, two coffees and a notebook. He handed Kate a coffee, and dropped the notebook into his seat. He gave Alexis the bottle of juice, and then dug into her backpack.

"Are you looking for a pen, Daddy? They're in the front zipper."

"Thanks, Lex." He kissed her head and pulled a pen out. He held the pen out to Kate.

She looked at it like it was a knife. After a moment of hesitation she reluctantly took the pen from him.

He opened the notebook to the first page and handed it to her. "Let it all out. It helps you to deal with it."

She chanced a glance over at the little girl and then whispered, "It's not the first time."

"I gathered as much." It wasn't anything more than an observation.

"This _is_ the first time it happened while he was sober." She was a heartbroken little girl again. Remembering the time before _this_. The time before_ she_ was gone. The time before he drank. The time when she didn't know people could do this to people they loved.

Here was a complete stranger offering her compassion. The stranger had probably quickly figured out the book she held like a Bible was his. He'd been fast to recognize the signs that she was scared. That she was breaking.

"Is it okay if I touch you? You look like you could use a hug." He was sitting beside her again, angled towards her, but he kept all of his body parts in his seat.

She ducked her head down to look at the notebook. She examined it. Played with the spiral binding. Ran a finger along the edge of the paper, daring it to cut her finger. She swallowed hard and gingerly rested her hand on top of his. "I need a hug."

"I'm good at those, you can just ask the little one." He slowly leaned toward her, not wanting to scare her. He brought his arms up and lightly wrapped them around her back.

She grabbed his jacket and held on tight. She couldn't remember the last she'd been hugged. She's pretty sure it was before her mother was gone.

"How long as this been happening?" He tightened his grip a little and rested his head on top of hers.

"Four years." Why was she telling him everything?

He nodded into her hair. "Would you like me to call the police for you? You're in no shape to run anywhere. I can make sure he never finds you, though. Kate can disappear and you can become anyone you want to be."

She started sobbing. Quietly at first. Her body barely trembled. The longer he held her the worse it got. Her whole body was shaking. She was sure she was ruining his shirt.

"Let it out. It's okay." He freed one of his hands from the hug and used it to run circles on her back. "He can't hurt you. Never again."

Alexis watched on in concern. "Someone hurt her, Daddy?"

"Just read your book, baby."

Alexis climbed back down and stood in front of Kate. "Was it the same stupid person who said you weren't pretty?" Without waiting for an answer she joined her father in hugging the stranger.

"Why are you doing this?" Her sobbing and crying had finally faded, and she loosened her grip on his jacket.

"I hate pain," he answered quietly, loosing her from his hug, but continuing to rub the concentric circles on her back.

"You write about death."

"I write about resolution. Big difference."

"Yes, Daddy's books are just an allegory. He's big on the denouement," Alexis encouraged, hugging her tighter.

"That's a big word for a little girl."

"Daddy stresses story structure." She released Kate.

Kate chuckled lightly. Probably the first time in years. She spoke to the child in perfect French, "Bel esprit."

Alexis went wide-eyed. "What does that mean?"

"It means fine mind. I was just saying you were smart."

"Say something else," Alexis demanded.

Kate was grateful for the distraction, "What would you like me to say?"

"Say anything!"

"Dis quelque chose!"

"What does that one mean?"

"Say anything."

"Dis... quelque... chose."

"Not bad, try this one: Je suis une petite théière.

Alexis tried, but mangled the ending. "Say the last word again."

Kate enunciated the word slowly for her, "Théière."

"Je suis une petite théière."

"Yes! Good job. That means: I'm a little teapot."

"Like the song!" Alexis exclaimed, bouncing on the spot.

"Like the song." Kate smiled a little and watched the carefree girl dance around singing her one line of French.

Richard watched the entire exchange. "You're good with her."

"I used to babysit. A lot."

He glanced down toward the ticketing counters. "If you're still running away, may I make a suggestion?"

She turned her head toward him.

"It's an incredibly presumptuous and inappropriate suggestion."

She stiffened but didn't move.

"Stay here."

She wrinkled her nose and then winced. "Not exactly running if I stay put is it?"

"No, I..." he faltered.

"Spit it out. You're making me nervous."

"I have a spare room. A secure building. He wouldn't be allowed in. You could teach her French or something... I don't know. Forget I said anything."

She raised her sunglasses and searched his eyes. She didn't know what she was looking for. Honesty? Sincerity? Hope? Safety? "You're serious."

"Yes."

"You just met me. I could be a serial killer."

"No. Not you. You wear your heart way too far out on your sleeve. You care. Too much."

Alexis reached up and brushed her fingers across the bruise. "What happened?"

Kate recoiled and dropped the sunglasses back down to cover it. "I... I..."

"Is that why you think you aren't pretty?"

How could she lie to a little girl? How could she tell her the truth? She gave her the short answer, "No."

Alexis attack hugged her and climbed into her lap. "À Paris, à Paris, sur mon petit cheval gris. À Rouen, à Rouen, sur mon petit cheval blanc. À Toulon, à Toulon, sur mon petit cheval blond. Et retournons au manoir, sur mon petit cheval noir. Au galop, au galop... My Gram likes to sing that song to me."

"Do you know what it's about?" Kate had calmed considerably listening to the little girl sing. "It's about horses. You're riding a different colored horse to each city. A gray horse to Paris, a white horse to Rouen, a blonde horse to Toulon, and then back to your mansion on a black horse."

"I like horses. Do you?"

"I love them. I have a horse named Lijep, she's brown and white, and she has spots like a cow." She finally returned the hug, albeit loosely.

Alexis giggled, "Is Lijep French for cow?"

"No, it's Croatian for beautiful."

"Like you." Alexis hopped down and went to get a drink of her juice.

"Alexis is blunt," he whispered to her.

"She is, but she's cute so it's okay," she replied with a small smile at the little girl.

"Is that the only Croatian word you know?"

"Ne, znam ih ja puno."

"My father's family is from Montreal. My mother's family is Croatian. I've been speaking both for as long as I can remember."He stared at her.

"Be kind, rewind. What did you even say to me?"

"I said, 'No, I know lots of them.' It's always more interesting than just saying I'm fluent."

"Mmm." He regarded her. "My offer, it stands. God, I must seem like a total creep right now."

"Just creepy enough." Her joke was light. She dropped her sunglasses into her purse.

"That's reassuring." He turned to check on Alexis who was sitting in her chair reading and humming.

"If I say yes, what happens?"

"I take you to a hospital." He cuts her off before she can argue. "No, that is a sticking point. Then you go press charges. We would go from there."

"If I say no?"

"Then we part company, but please understand that I would be doing so under duress. It would go against everything my mother ever raised me to do."

She chewed her bottom lip. "Your daughter, what is she going to think of that?"

"Of you? That could go one of two ways: She's going to think she has someone there to teach her all the French she wants, whenever she wants, or she's going to think you're my girlfriend. She hasn't quite grasped the concept of romantic love yet, thanks to her mother. She's parading a new boyfriend in and out all the time when I take Alexis out there. Each one has already moved in and become the love of her life," his voice had taken on a decidedly nasty lilt as he spat the last part out. "I should apologize for that. She cheated on me, but I did get something wonderful from that relationship." He combed his fingers through the long red hair hair his little girl wore.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, pumpkin?"

"Can I go see Mommy another time?"

"Mommy is looking forward to seeing you though, baby."

"Mommy is looking forward to having her little dress-up doll again. Daddy, when I'm out there I go through more outfits a day than you do. Outfits that are stupid and frilly and I _can't _get them dirty. When I'm here we can at least have play-doh night and make your own pizzas... Please let me stay."

"Lex, I can't do that. Your Mommy made special plans to see you. Daddy has to take you out there, that was part of the deal remember?"

"It was a stupid deal. Let me talk to her."

"Alexis, you're going to see your mother this week"

"No! I want to stay here in New York," she begged as she climbed down from the chair. She stood in front of Kate and whispered, "Make him let me stay. Please?"

"I can't do that, besides I think you should go see her," Kate spoke quietly and calmly. She reached out to stroke the little girl's hair.

"Why? I don't want to see her, so why should I? Why can't I stay here and learn French?" Alexis put her hands on her hips and stared at Kate defiantly.

Kate drooped her hand to her lap. She opened her book and pulled a picture out, she inhaled sharply when she saw it. "One day, you won't be able to, and you will miss the time you had together more than you will ever know. Trust me."

"Why should I trust you?"

"I can't see my mom anymore, and I..." Her breathe caught in her throat and she wiped at her eyes.

"Why can't you see your mom anymore?"

"Alexis, no." He reached out and pulled the little girl to him, "That's rude. You don't ask questions like that. Get back in your seat, and read."

"But..."

He cut her off, "I mean it. Don't make me count to three."

Alexis gave him a glare, and climbed back into her seat. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Kate finally murmured. She'd tucked the picture back into her book. "I shouldn't be getting this choked up over it still."

"I'm guessing it was sudden?"

Kate only nodded as she stared out into the crowds filing past them.

"I'm sorry, too. For that, and for her being so..."

"Untouched by the bad things in life? Don't apologize for her. She's just a kid. I'm the one who can't even look at a picture of her mother without crying."

"You have every right to feel." He gingerly reached over and rubbed her back, pleased when she didn't flinch.

"Alexis?" She turned her attention past him to the little girl.

"Yes," she answered from behind her book.

"I can't see my mother anymore, because she's in Heaven. You should spend as much time with your mother as you can."

Alexis dropped her book to her lap, and watched Kate carefully. She finally acquiesced, "I'll go see, Mommy."

"You didn't have to tell her that."

"I know," Kate responded and looked down to the ticketing counter. "No line."

"No line. I need to call Meredith." He pulled his phone out and fiddled with, "Alexis, do you think you are big enough to ride the plane by yourself?"

"No, I know I am, but I don't want to."

"I didn't think you did." He leaned over and kissed her head. "Will you stay here by Kate and be a good girl?"

"Yes, sir," she replied and gave him a salute.

He chuckled and kissed her head again. "At ease." He got up and made his way toward the ticketing counter.

"Kate, I really am sorry for earlier. I didn't know." She got up and moved into her father's empty seat. "What was your mommy like?"

"My mommy was my favorite person in the whole world." Kate pulled her picture out of the book and handed it to Alexis, she dabbed at her eyes and took a shaky breath before continuing, "She was a lawyer. She helped people who couldn't help themselves; people that the courts had given up on. She was wonderful in the kitchen. She made the best cookies. Chocolate chip, peanut butter, sugar, it didn't matter. And she could sing. Oh, how she could sing. When I was your age she always sang me to sleep. Whatever song she wanted to sing."

Kate's tears were flowing freely now, but she kept talking, "She would always help me with my homework if I needed it. We would go out every saturday morning for breakfast, just us girls. Then we'd go get lost in a little shop, sometimes a bookstore, sometimes clothing, sometimes shoes. We used to go to the movies a few times a month, but those stopped when I started high school. Everything she wanted to see, I would go see with my friends. When I made stupid mistakes she held me while I cried. When my first boyfriend broke up with me she sat with me and ate ice cream until we were both sick. When she was gone, I finally realized how much she meant to me. If I could take back all of those times I blew her off for my friends I would. In a heartbeat."

Alexis sat there quietly, staring intently at the picture in her hands. Her small mind was struggling to wrap itself around the enormity of what Kate just told her. She finally just got on her knees and hugged her. Hew words were barely a whisper, "I wish you could have your mommy back. I'll never ever take mine for granted ever again. I promise."

Kate returned the hug. Her voice was just as quiet as Alexis's had been, "That's all I ask."

Alexis pulled back, and held the picture out for Kate to take back. "You're mommy was pretty. You look like her."

Kate accepted the picture, and then spoke,"My mother was the most beautiful woman in the whole world. When you get older, you'll understand this, but sometimes, the prettiest parts of people are things you can't see. As pretty as my mother was on the outside, her spirit, it was ten times that."

Alexis smiled cheekily, and in a very conspiratorial whisper she leaned in, "You didn't deny it."

"Huh?" Kate's face was a perfect example of confusion.

"You didn't deny being pretty. I told you that you were pretty before and you said you weren't. I sort of left before you could deny it the second time, but this time you didn't deny it. So I'm right. You're pretty. Pretty enough to be a actress or a model..."

"An actress, you use 'an' with words that start with vowels," Kate corrected.

Alexis wrinkled her nose. "You sound like, Daddy. That's not always true though. You use 'an' with silent h's and and you don't use it with long u's or o's that sound like w's..." Alexis took in Kate's shocked expression, "Daddy also stresses grammar."

Kate shook her head and laughed lightly, "I just got schooled by a five-year-old."

"I'm five-and-a-half, thank you very much." Alexis crossed her arms over her chest indignantly.

"I'm very sorry, I'll make sure I never make that mistake again."

"Are you gonna stay and teach me French?"

"Do you really want me to? I'm sure your dad could find someone much more qualified to teach you."

"I like you. I only want to learn French from you." Alexis rocked back and forth in her chair.

"Why do you like me?" Kate's curiosity took over.

"You're nice. You're not like my teachers at school, they are sooooo boring." Alexis stopped rocking, and dropped her voice to a whisper, "Don't tell him, but... Since Gram moved out, I miss having another girl around. Daddy's not as good at picking out clothes as he thinks he is. Sometimes he gets really lost in his writing, and can't watch cartoons with me. All my friends have mommies that live with them, they don't have to get on planes to go see them. I wanna have girl time."

"I'm going to tell you the same thing I just told your father, you don't even know me," Kate whispered.

"You ever just know something? Please?" Alexis had the perfect little sad puppy eyes, and her pout was damn near irresistible.

"I really shouldn't..."

"Kate, please? I don't wanna see you leave, and then find out you got hurt again. Please stay, please be my friend, please? You don't even have to teach me French if you don't want to. Just... please?" Alexis clasped her hands together and held them to her chin. The look was complete.

"Okay," Kate mumbled, "but never use that look on me ever again."

"I only use it when desperate measures are called for."

"You only use what when desperate measures are called for?" He asked returning to their seats.

"Sad eyes," Alexis grinned.

"Are you ladies ready to leave?" He scooped up the two carry-ons he had left with them.

"I'm ready!" Alexis zipped her book up into her backpack and slung it onto her shoulder.

Kate stood and grabbed her own bag and purse, "How did you know I would say yes?"

"You never said no," he answered, handing her the boarding pass.

She pulled her sunglasses on. "What am I getting myself into?"

"I ask myself that same question everyday," Alexis responded honestly.

"You, little missy, are a real laugh and a half," he joked.

"You see what I have to put up with?" Alexis gestured to her father and rolled her eyes.

Kate allowed herself to smile at the duo. She followed them to the security checkpoint, and reluctantly removed her sunglasses and the necklace before stepping through the metal detector with her head down. She immediately grabbed her things from the bowl after it passed through, and her bags from behind that. With a quick flip of her wrist she had the sunglasses back in place, a move that he noticed was a bit too easy. She slipped the long chain back over her head and waited for the father and daughter.

"Have you ever been on a plane before, Kate?" Alexis asked, coming to a hopping stop beside her.

"Yes."

Alexis grabbed her hand and grinned, "I like them."

"That makes one of us," she admitted.

"We need to go to the left," he spoke from Alexis' other side.

Alexis grabbed his hand swung herself forward, "Weeeee!"

Kate looked over at the man and gave him a small smile. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it," he smiled genuinely at her and they swung his daughter between them the entire walk to the terminal.

~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x

"How long until we can get on the plane, Daddy?" Alexis was bouncing in the seat looking out the window.

"27 minutes," he replied.

"Is she going to ask every minute?" Kate looked a little terrified even with her sunglasses on.

Rick nodded solemnly.

"Alexis, would you like to learn some numbers?"

"Oui," she repeated the word she'd learned during the first half of their wait in the terminal.

"Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf, dix," Kate ticked a finger off for each number she spoke.

"Un." Alexis held up one finger. "Deux." She added a second. "Trois." A third. "I don't remember the next one."

"Quatre."

"Quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf, dix!" Alexis completed happily.

"Good, tell me the number seven."

Alexis quietly mouthed the words and counted on her fingers until she got there, "Sept!" She declared excitedly.

"Right, three."

"Trois," Alexis affected the word in the way only a child can. It sent her into a fit of giggles.

Kate laughed with her, "Ten."

"Neuf, no wait that's nine," Alexis corrected herself, and mulled it over in her head, "dix?"

"Oui, quel est le numéro cinq?"

Alexis stared at her. "I heard the number five."

"Good! I asked you what the number was."

"Tricky."

"Tu n'as pas d'idée," she smirked at the little girl. (You have no idea.)

"I'm only learning here, that's not fair," Alexis growled and cocked her head to one side.

"You're right, I'm sorry. Deux?"

"Two."

"Four?"

"Quatre!"

"Huit?"

Alexis counted the numbers out for herself again. She responded with, "Eight."

"You learn well young grasshopper," he interrupted, "but I think it's nearly time to board."

Alexis whipped back around to the window as she saw the walkway being extended out to the plane. "I love this part!"

"I know you do, pumpkin, but you need to zip your bad back up and get ready."

"Right!" Alexis hopped down and gathered up all of her belongings. She stuffed them haphazardly into her bag and zipped it. "Ready!"

"Ladies and gentleman, the 11:45 flight from New York to Los Angeles will begin boarding in ten minutes at gate C27," the woman behind the counter announced over the PA system.

Alexis hopped up and got in line. "Hi, Alyssa!"

"Well, hello there Alexis, are you off to see your mother again?"

"Yep!" Alexis had her smile turned all the way up.

"I think you've logged more air miles than I have!" Alyssa bopped Alexis's nose with her finger, it only served to get Alexis giggling.

"You two do this a lot?" Kate asked standing and grabbing her own bags.

"Twice a month. Meredith gets a weekend, and a week every month," he grabbed the other two carry-ons and continued, "This is the week long visit. We'll land, I'll turn her over to her mother, and then you and I will waste a few hours before flying back here."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that." He guided her over to stand behind Alexis with him.

"Kate," Alexis whirled around and looked up at her before asking, "How do I ask someone what their name is?"

"Quel est votre nom?"

"Thank you."

"Merci."

"I thought, merci meant thanks."

"It does," Kate squatted down to eye level and grinned, "just a reminder, mademoiselle."

Alexis looked up at the man working the desk with Alyssa. "Quel est votre nom?"

The man got a very serious look on his face, "Je m'apelle, Jaques. Comment ça va?"

Alexis blinked and looked back to Kate.

"Ça va bien, et vous?"

"What she said," Alexis responded to him, pointing at Kate.

"Je vais bien, merci," the man responded with a chuckle and a nod.

"He said he is well, and thank you," Kate clarified for the little girl.

"I knew the merci part. Thank you, Kate," Alexis hugged her tightly around the neck.

"Avec plaisir," she hugged the girl back and then immediately translated, "with pleasure."

Alexis spent the last of the ten minutes idly chatting with Alyssa. When the door finally opened and boarding began, Alexis all but ran down the long hall to the plane with her father hot on her heels. Kate walked calmly behind them. She caught them at the door.

"We waited for you," Alexis supplied cheerfully, "Can you teach me more French while we fly, or am I getting annoying?"

"I can teach you more French, although I'm still not too sure how good I'll be at it," she replied as Alexis drug her down the aisle to their seats.

"You're great at it, promise." Alexis made a dash for the window seat, she wheeled around just before sitting. "Do you want the window seat? I forgot to ask. Daddy always makes me sit on the inside, but if you want to see out the window you can sit over there. I don't mind."

"No, it's fine, you can take the window seat," Kate assented and settled into the middle seat and secured the seatbelt.

"If you wanna switch later we can." Alexis unzipped her backpack and took her book and a portable CD player out. She stashed the rest of her bag under her seat and then buckled up.

"I'll think about it." She watched Alexis put the headphones and start happily humming along with the song coming out of it.

"I need to put your bag up here," he broke in and pointed to the overhead storage bin, "Do you want to get anything out of it first?"

"Oh, right..." Kate unzipped the bag and pulled out the wooden box then handed him the rest of the bag. She cradled it in her lap.

He zipped the bag and then gently put it into the compartment above him. His curiosity got the best of him, he finally asked when he sat down, "Was it hers?" He buckled in.

"Yeah, it's everything I have left of her." She brushed her fingers over he intricate carvings on the lid. The cherry wood glistened under the finish.

He guessed the chest, because he had decided box was too common a name for the treasure she held it as, had been a jewelry box at one point. The perfect size for sitting on a dresser. He noticed the picture on top, "He gave it to her didn't he?"

She gave the photo a sad smile and touched it, "Their first anniversary; he made it. He was always good at things like that. I have... had another one just like it. He made me one for my eighteenth birthday. He tore into my room one night, not long after it happened. He was drunk. I was scared to death. He pulled pictures off my walls. Tore down posters. He stopped when he saw it. The photo on mine was the three of us, smiling, I was two maybe three in it. He just stopped though, and he looked at it for the longest time. I was about to get up when he took it and left."

"He kept it?"

"He smashed it. He had dumped everything out of it onto the kitchen counter, and... I found it in splinters out on the balcony. He was passed out in a chair... still holding the hammer. I covered him up, and dug her jewelry box out from under my bed. I cleaned my stuff off the counter into it, and stuck it back under there. He apologized, but..."

"You couldn't quite forgive him?"

"I did, eventually. In one of his rare moments of sobriety."

He reached over and gently brushed his thumb over the tear that slid out from under her sunglasses. He had never been at a loss for words before. The only questions he had were too personal. Too painful. He did the only thing he could think to do, he dropped his hand down to hers and squeezed her hand.

"It was four years in January. That March was the first time he..." She chanced a look over at Alexis before continuing, "He shoved me into a wall. Told me he hated me. When he woke up the next day he didn't remember any of it. He felt so guilty that he dove deeper into his bottle."

"A vicious cycle."

"Yeah. But yesterday? Yesterday he was sober. The first time in months, and I saw my dad. I don't even remember what happened. Did I say something? Did I do something? He was gone, so suddenly. All I saw was anger. He hit me _so_ hard. I could barely stand," she choked on her words and wiped at her tears, "I sat in the floor crying and bleeding for God knows how long. When I finally got to my feet I found him passed out in my bed. He was clutching this teddy bear that he'd gotten me when I was born. It made me sick. I ran to the bathroom and locked the door behind me."

"Was he still there this morning?"

"No, I just packed my stuff and left." She lifted the lid and sorted through the stack of pictures laying on top. She pulled out a photo and handed it to him. She explained the story behind it, but he was stuck on her final words, "We used to be happy." She pulled another picture out.

"How old were you in that picture?"

"Seventeen, that was taken about a week after graduation. Dad had always joked that he was going to take me out of the country one day. To celebrate they took me to Europe. Someone took that for us on The Giant's Causeway."

"I've never been to Ireland."

"You should go, it's beautiful there. We went back that next summer, and I enjoyed the pubs."

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Legal drinking age is eighteen. You haven't had a Guinness until you've had one in Ireland."

"Is that so?"

"It is..." she was going to continue but the Captain's voice came over the speakers preparing them for take-off. She quickly closed and locked the box. She moved around until she could get it into the little storage compartment below her seat. Her purse was nestled in next to it.

"I like this part!" Alexis was still bopping along to her CD, so neither adult was sure of her meaning.

They sat in silence for a while after that. Alexis was reading, Kate was looking out the window, and she could hear the persistent sound of pen scratching paper beside her. She looked over at him and watched him slowly fill the notebook.

"That's creepy."

"I'm sorry?" she asked, shocked.

"No one has ever watched me work before, it's creepy."

"I'll stop. I'm sorry," she apologized and turned back to the window.

"Here," he said passing the notebook to her, and flipping it back to the first page, "Tell me what you think."

"You... want me to read it?"

"That's the general idea, yes," he smirked.

"Okay..." She picked the notebook up and started reading it. Halfway through the first page she looked over at him. "You're right, that's creepy."

"Sorry." He turned his gaze to the window and resigned himself to only sneaking glances at her now an again to try and read her reactions.

She placed the notebook on the tray table in front of her after she finished it.

He looked at her. "Well?"

"That's about me."

"Yeah."

"She's not me though."

"No."

"I don't know how I feel about this."

"It goes no further than you."

"I appreciate that."

"So, what do you think?"

She finally looked at him. "It was beautiful. Can I keep it?"

He gave her a genuine Castle smile. "Of course. Can I ask you a question?"

"Is it another 'feel free to say no'?"

"Always an option for you."

"Go ahead," she nodded.

"Just how many times have you read_ In A Hail of Bullets_? I noticed it was nearly worn out when you first pulled it out of your bag."

She bit her lip. "I don't know. I quit counting after five. You provided an escape from life. She got it for me for Christmas. Two weeks later my dad and I come home and find a cop on our doorstep. He came to tell us that she'd been murdered."

"Murdered?" His eyebrows flew up. "I... I thought maybe... I don't know what I thought, but it wasn't murder. God, I'm sorry. Did they... Did they catch the guy who did it?"

"No, it's probably why he drinks," she responded almost thoughtfully, "Neither one of us has had any closure on it. He drinks. I read." She held up her book.

"Can I see it?" His mouth was moving before his brain could tell it not to. His hand immediately flew up to cover his mouth.

"Um... I guess, yeah." She handed him the book. "Don't lose her picture."

"You don't... I had no right to ask that. I couldn't," he stammered trying to push the book back at her.

"You're indecisive." She placed the book on top of the notebook in front of her.

"No, just a moron. My mouth does this thing where it speaks without permission."

"So you do want to see it."

"Well, yeah, but that's just me being nosey and rude."

She took the photo out of the book and put it in front of him. "Maybe you can figure me out."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Can I see your pen?"

"Sure!" He fumbled to get the pen out, but he got it to her.

"Thank you." She pulled the chest out from under her seat and placed the photo inside. She then flipped to the back of the notebook and began to draw on the cardboard cover. Mostly doodles and squiggles. Something to keep her mind busy.

He reverently opened the book, there on the inside cover were the words 'Property of Katherine Beckett' in dull blue script. He continued on. When he got to what should've been the first blank page in the book he noticed she had filled it. There was a timeline, and a three tiny columns. One labeled 'Witness,' the second 'Of Interest,' and the third 'Victim.'

"You made a murder board."

"What?" She looked up.

He turned the page to her, "A cop I know, he calls them murder boards. Sets them up just like that to work through the case."

"Yeah, I do that with most of my books. I can usually get them solved before the reveal. That one though, I couldn't. Probably why I started re-reading it. I tried to find that clue I missed the first time. Then... it became a place to escape the abu- to escape to."

"Who did you think the killer was?"

"The wife. Everything pointed to her. I didn't figure out that clue I was missing was on the first page until long after I stopped caring about the case. Her alibi was right there, and I kept ignoring it."

"Sneaky, huh?"

"Yep," she replied and turned back to her doodle.

He went back to the book and started skimming the pages. He always paused to read the notes she'd made, and the sections she had highlighted.

"Most people I know, are freaked out by the thought of writing in a book. Annotation is like a dirty word," he commented offhandedly without ever looking up from the book.

She glanced over at him and put the pen down. "Can't solve the case if you don't write down the facts."

"Not all of these are about the book." He kept turning pages, and the further into the book he got the less white space he found. He stopped reading but he could tell her book was becoming a diary, and he was feeling like an intruder.

"At one point I thought about joining the police academy." She saw how nervous he was getting looking through the book. "So that I could do more than just speculate. Her case doesn't make sense to me, at least the parts I know about."

He closed the book and handed it back to her. "Why didn't you join?"

She choked on the sour laugh as it bubbled up, "Oh yeah, that'd work out. Poor little rich girl who can't even get her own father to stop hitting her trying to take down criminals. I wouldn't be any good at it, just like everything else."

"You're good with Alexis. You're strong, incredibly strong. You know three times as many languages as I do, so you're good at those. You're smart. You're aware. And just to top this off with a good dose of creepy, you're beautiful. Inside and out. You would make a great cop."

"You're delusional." She pulled the book toward her and opened it up. She was hoping she just looked busy.

"I've been told that before. By doctors. Usually after they tell me I have a concussion. This time, I happen to know I'm right," he whispered into her ear as he pulled the book away, and slid the glasses from her face, "You were strong enough to live in that special kind of hell for four years. You were smart enough to leave. You have been watching everything and everyone around you. Taking notes on: where the exits are, who is going to be trouble, and how you are going to protect yourself. You are a survivor. It's something you're good at. It's a good quality in a cop." He leaned back into his seat and placed her book back where he found it.

"Thank you," she choked out in a watery whisper.

"Hey, Katie, can I call you Katie? Katie, can you teach me more French words now? I'm bored with my book, please?" Alexis slammed her book closed and pulled her headphones off.

"Huh? Uh, yeah..." Kate swiped at her eyes.

"Great! Can you teach me the rest of the teapot song?"

Kate slid the box back under her seat, took a calming breath, and sang the first line to Alexis, "Je suis un petite théière, gros et court."

"You sing so pretty."

"Merci," Kate replied with a blush creeping up her cheeks.

Alexis sang the line back to her, "That's the short and stout part right?"

"Oui. Voici ma poignée, voici mon bec. Here is my handle here is my spout," Kate sang the next like to her.

Alexis parroted everything back to her, "Wait... I probably wasn't supposed to say yes or sing the English back was I?"

"It's whatever you want to sing back. Ready for more?"

"Yes... Oui!"

"Quand je deviens toute embuée, tu m'entend crier."

"Quand je deviens toute embuée, tu m'entend crier... When I get all steamed up here me shout?"

"Souslève moi et renverse moi!"

"Tip me over and pour me out," Alexis giggled as she sang.

"Sing the French to me. I know you know the English."

"Souslève moi et renverse moi!"

"Good, good. You'll be speaking French like a pro in no time."

"Kate?" Alexis asked suddenly very serious, "Would you be mad if I didn't tell my mom about you? I mean, I like you and everything, but she'd have a cow."

Kate stared at the girl wide-eyed.

"Not about the French thing, but just about you in general. Being around," she dropped her voice to a barely audible whisper and leaned in close to Kate, "Mom might hate Dad, but they also think I'm kind of dumb. I've heard Mom talking about it before. Telling her friends she boinked him. What does that mean?"

Kate went slack jawed and searched for the right words. Her reply was just as much of a whisper as Alexis's voice had been, "Alexis..."

"She doesn't like the idea of anyone being in his life. Anyone but her. She would make everything bad if she knew you were staying with us." Alexis grabbed a handful of Kate's hair and played with it.

"I really don't know how to take that. If your mom doesn't want me in your life I will respect that."

"No," Alexis drug the word out and let go of Kate's hair, "That isn't what she'll care about. She's gonna think you're Daddy's girlfriend, and she _won't_ like it one bit."

"Wha..."

"You are way prettier than she is."

Kate struggled with the seat belt and fumbled her way through taking it off. "I need to go to the bathroom." She all but leapt into the aisle over Richard Castle on her way out she sent her book and the notebook skittering off toward Alexis. She ran for the nearest bathroom, not caring that everyone she passed could see how broken she was. How bruised. Abused. Tears were streaming down her face and her chest was heaving as she slammed the little door shut behind her.

"Alexis Simone Castle, what did you say?"

"N-n-nothing Daddy. I just told her she was pretty. I asked her if it was okay for me to not tell Mommy about her, and then she was gone. What did I do? I didn't mean to make her mad, Daddy. I didn't..." Alexis started crying.

"Shh, shhh..." He unbuckled himself and moved into Kate's seat. He wrapped his arms around the little girl. "It's okay, Lex. It's okay..."

Alexis stopped crying, but kept apologizing. After several minutes of that she pushed away from him. "I need to tell her sorry. Let me go tell her. I need to tell her sorry. Please.?"

"Wait for her to come back, Alexis."

"Okay," she nodded sadly and turned to look out the window.

"Okay." He kissed her head and pulled Kate's book and the notebook toward him. The father and daughter sat in silence for close to thirty minutes.

"She draws pretty too. Do you think she would let me color it?" Alexis looked over at the artwork on the back of the notebook.

"You should ask her that, pumpkin."

Alexis nodded and opened her book back up. She read the read the same paragraph four times.

"Can I have my seat back? Please?" Kate asked nervously from the aisle. Her head was hanging down as she bounced from foot to foot.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Castle replied getting up out of her seat and moving out into the aisle with her.

"Thanks," she responded, scooting in to her seat.

"Kate, I'm really really sorry for whatever I said. I didn't mean to make you mad. I'm sorry," The words tumbled out of Alexis uncontrollably, "I am. If you're not gonna teach me French anymore I understand. I'm just sorry. Okay? Sorry." She punctuated the last apology with a fierce hug. "Sorry."

"It's... It's okay. I'm not mad, and especially not at you."

Alexis nodded and pointed to the picture on the back of the notebook. "It's really pretty. Can I color it?"

"Yeah, sure. Go for it. Can you... Can you listen to your music again?"

"Grown up talk? Yeah," Alexis replied before climbing down to get her crayons from her backpack. She got settled back in and turned her music on.

"You bolted. Are you okay?"

"I think she has a better grasp of romantic love than you think she does." Kate threw her head back against the seat and closed her eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. She said that you are her mother..." Kate trailed off not really wanting to have this conversation.

"That we what?"

"Her words, boink."

Rick's jaw dropped. "My child said that?"

"She doesn't know what it means. She said she overheard her mother saying it. She also said that your ex-wife would 'make everything bad' if she she found out about me. I'm _not_ going to come between that little girl and her mother. If your ex-wife doesn't want me around her, I'm gone."

"Meredith doesn't care about you being around Alexis. I can promise you that."

"Alexis said she is easily threatened."

"Understatement. The reason my marriage ended, was because Meredith felt threatened... by Alexis."

Kate's face contorted into confusion and she looked over at him.

"Yeah. She also thought my mother was trying to break us up. Oh, my publisher, my agent, uhh..."

"I get it, she's insecure."

"Meredith needs to have all of the attention on her. Our marriage was failing when she found out she was pregnant. We tried to make it work after that, but we couldn't. She was focused on me, and what I could do for her. I was focused on Alexis. So she cheated on me."

"Sounds like your wife could benefit from my therapist." Kate rolled her eyes, and turned her face back to the ceiling. "Yesterday, was the first time he ever hit me where someone could see."

"Kate... You don't-" She held a hand up effectively cutting him off.

"I've been trying to figure it out. My father couldn't even kill spiders. He would catch them and take them outside to Mom's garden. He was always one of the gentlest people in my life. I can remember them shoving the coffee table aside in the living room an dancing at night, I can remember them throwing popcorn at each other during movies, and I can even remember them arguing. The one thing I can't remember is my Dad ever being mean... or violent. I never saw him raise his hand to anyone or anything." She took a breath and rolled her head to look over at him. "How did he turn into _that_ monster? How was he smart enough, even that blindingly drunk, to never leave a bruise that wasn't covered by clothes? That really scares me."

"I honestly don't know," he answered, resting his hand over hers.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Helping me. Why?"

"I told you, I don't like to see people in pain."

"Yeah, you said that, but why me? What is it you want from me?" She turned in her seat to face him. "You figure I'm just some hurt girl who will do whatever you say? You'll work your charms for a little while and I'll just lay down and spread my le-"

"Stop right there. I am not looking for sex," he whispered angrily, pulling his hand away from her, "I'm offering to help you because I've seen the look on your face before. I've seen it and I hate it. I saw that same haunted look everyday as a child, and it wasn't until he tried to kill her that my mother took me and left him. So don't you for one minute think that this has anything to do with getting you in my bed."

She stared at him blankly. "I- I'm sorry."

"Good," he spat before turning back to facing the front of the plane.

"Look, I'm not... I'm not used to people being nice to me. When someone you're supposed to trust implicitly turns on you... you learn to stop trusting people. Everyone has an agenda. She said your wife would think I was your girlfriend and I freaked out. I'm trying to figure out when I let my guard down enough to even get on this plane with you. I took that out on you, and it wasn't right. I'm sorry."

"The only thing I want from you is your safety."

"I'm sorry for what I said. I had no right." She fell silent after that and the awkward tension in the air between them could've been cut with a knife. She turned back to the front of the plane and sighed.

"I shouldn't have snapped," he finally responded.

"So, why me? Why not give money to a shelter or something? There are people out there who are worse off than me."

"I do. Give money, I mean. When my mom took off the biggest thing she needed was a friend."

"So you're going to be my friend?" She turned to look at him tentatively.

"Yeah. If you'll let me."

"I think a friend sounds good right now."

"Of course this friend is still going to insist that you go to an emergency room when we get back to New York."

"Of course."

"And if you need to go back there, to get anything... I'll go with you."

"Thank you." She reached over and squeezed his hand.

"You're welcome."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Notes: Part of the **Être Votre Ami **universe. So obviously the last story ended in the middle of the plane ride, and this one is picking up three months later. This story is still set in 2003. :) Prismacolors are a brand of absolutely fantastic art supplies that are kind of my favorite. They make everything so colorful and pretty. Yon-chan is awesome. And Nikki, here is "Your precious."

Allons-y!

* * *

><p>"Katie! You're still here!" Alexis ran across the baggage claim area to her father and Kate with her pigtails bobbing. She collided with Rick's legs and wrapped her arms around him tightly. "Daddy!"<p>

"Mais bien sur, ma petite!"

"How was California, kiddo? Did you play on the beach?"

"No, of course not," Alexis replied sadly as she let him go. She greeted Kate, "Bonjour, ma professeure."

"Bonjour, Alexis, est ce que tu t'es amusée?"

Alexis stopped and contemplated the question. "Did I have fun?"

Kate nodded, "Oui."

"Oui."

"Richard, who is this?" Meredith approached with one of the most insincere smiles Kate had ever seen plastered all over her face.

"Mère, c'est ma professeure, Katie. Katie, c'est ma mère."

"Richard," Meredith gritted out. She grabbed his arm and took him away from Kate and Alexis.

"Good to see you too, Meredith."

"I don't want your little French whore hanging around."

He took a calming breath to keep himself from blowing a gasket. "She's neither French, nor a whore, Meredith. She's Alexis' French tutor."

Meredith gave an undignified snort. "I'm sure she's probably schooling you in French too."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, Meredith?"

"It means I accused you of fucking her. Keep up, Ricky."

"Says the woman who has a different live-in boyfriend every month? I'm not sleeping with her, Meredith. I haven't slept with anyone since our divorce."

"Right, because you can keep your pants on around girls that pretty," Meredith spat.

"I'm not the one who cheated!"

"Give it a rest, Richard! Maybe if you hadn't been such a lousy husband I wouldn't have gone elsewhere to get some!"

"It's called being a parent, Meredith. Once you have a child the world no longer revolves around you, but you apparently missed that memo!"

"Bastard!" The sound that her hand made as it connected with his face echoed. Everyone stopped and stared.

"You'll be hearing from my lawyer."

Alexis clung to Kate's leg as they watched the fight. "She heard me singing the teapot song, and asked where I learned it. I didn't want to tell her. I think she's gonna try and take me to California."

"Why do you think that?" Kate asked kneeling down in front of Alexis. "Did she say something?"

"No, but when she saw you waiting with Daddy she squeezed my hand really hard and got all stiff."

"He won't let that happen, you know that." She wrapped Alexis tightly in a hug. "Lets go get your suitcase okay?"

"Okay," Alexis nodded but didn't let go, "Will you carry me?"

"Sure." Kate hoisted her up after she stood and went over to wait by the conveyor belt with her.

"Where does that bitch think she is going with my little girl?" For the first time since the threat of a lawyer Meredith stopped paying attention to the fight.

"Your- Your little girl? No, I'm the one who has custody. You're the one who walked out on her!"

"Go to hell, Richard." She walked toward Kate and Alexis.

"Katie..." Alexis watched her mother advance on them from her position looking over Kate's shoulder.

Meredith reached out gripped Kate's left arm, digging her nails into Kate's bicep. "Put her down."

"Ow!" Kate lurched backwards. "Let go!"

"I said put her down!"

Kate let Alexis slide down to the floor. "Let go of me."

"They are mine. Not yours. Stay away from Alexis and Richard," she whispered threateningly.

"Let go of me!" Kate reached over to try and pry Meredith's fingers loose.

She let go and spun Kate around to face her. "Hands off, bitch."

Alexis rushed in between them and tried to push Meredith backwards. She sobbed as she spoke, "Mommy, stop it! Stop being mean to Katie!"

"How long have you been brainwashing her? Huh?" She reached out again, but Kate ducked away from her. Alexis ran to her father and hid behind his legs.

Panic set in and she looked for an escape. She kept backing away from Meredith. "The only thing I've done in the last three months is teach her French..."

"Meredith, this stops now!" He pulled her away from Kate.

"Get your hands off of me," she shot back as she wheeled around on him, her voice laced with venom.

He let go of her arm. "Go home. Go back to California. Go wait for my lawyer to call you. You're not seeing Alexis again until you learn how to act like an adult! I'm going to make sure you lose your visitation rights."

Rage flashed in Meredith's eyes. She turned back and lunged at Kate, and in the time it took Kate to blink Meredith's open palm made contact with her face.

Kate stared blankly with her hands on her face. She backed into a security guard who was on his way over.

"Ma'am are you okay?" he asked bringing a hand up to rest on Kate's shoulder.

Kate jumped away from him. "Don't- Don't touch me." She looked around frantically for an escape.

"I didn't hit you that hard, you bitch."

The guard turned to Meredith. "I'm going to need you to leave. You can either get to wherever you are going or I can arrest you. Your choice."

"Fuck you," she spat at Kate before walking away from them.

"Ma'am... Are you okay?" The guard tried again, and Kate just shied further away from him.

"Let me see," Rick demanded gently as he walked over. "She's gone. Let me see."

"Katie, are you okay?" Alexis wrapped her arms around Kate.

Kate reluctantly dropped her hands from her face and made eye contact with him. "She hit me."

"I didn't think she was _that _crazy, Kate. I'm really sorry," he apologized. "Can I see how bad it is?"

"Yeah," she whispered.

"Okay, thank you." He cringed when he saw the gash Meredith's ring had left on her cheekbone. He pulled out his handkerchief for her and sighed, "I'm sorry. So very sorry. I said that I would... and I couldn't. I didn't. I'm sorry."

"Katie? I'm sorry too."

She took the soft cloth and pressed it against her cheek. "I'm not mad at either of you. I just want to go. Everyone is looking and I want to go."

"Okay, okay, let me just get Alexis' bag, and we'll go." He went to catch the bag as it came around the belt again.

"Katie, will you carry me?"

"Yeah," Kate responded absently before scooping the girl up. "She didn't hurt you did she?"

"No." Alexis wrapped her legs around Kate's middle, and her arms around her neck. "I'm sorry she did that."

"You have nothing to apologize for. Nothing at all." Kate hugged the little girl tightly, drawing just as much comfort as she was giving.

"Okay," Alexis whispered laying her head on Kate's shoulder. "Does Daddy have my bag yet?"

"He's on his way back over here now."

"...No, I pay you an obscene amount of money to be at my beck & call and we need to meet as soon as possible. It's about the custody agreement... I'll be in tomorrow morning." He pressed the end button on the call and dropped the Blackberry into his coat pocket as he approached them. "You ladies ready to go?"

"Yeah."

"Yes, Daddy. Can I have my tiger from my backpack?"

"Sure thing," he replied as he paused. He unzipped the backpack that was on Alexis' back and pulled out the tiger. He zipped the bag back up and handed Alexis the stuffed animal.

"Thanks Daddy." She let the tiger, Olivia Apricot Castle, dangle from one hand as she held onto Kate's neck.

"Lead the way," Kate murmured as she continued to hold Alexis close. She followed him out of the airport and across to the waiting car. The driver jumped out and popped the trunk so he could put the suitcase in, and then grabbed the door.

"Thank you, Philip," Rick nodded as he climbed in.

"You need to get down so we can get in the car, Alexis."

"Don't wanna." Alexis shook her head and held tighter.

"You can get back in my lap once we get in, but I can't get in with you hanging on me."

Alexis reluctantly loosened her grip on Kate's neck, and raised her head up to look her in the eyes. "I'm sorry my mommy hit you," she whispered sadly. Kate felt an overwhelming amount of grief wash over her as she realized that she had been witness to, and the cause of, Alexis's image of her mother shattering.

"You don't have to apologize for that, Alexis," Kate replied bumping foreheads with the little girl.

"Yes, I do." Alexis untangled herself and landed on her feet. She climbed into the car.

Kate climbed in and as soon as she sat down Alexis was back in her lap. When the car finally lurched forward her phone started ringing. She stared numbly at her purse before she leaned forward and pulled the phone from the outside pocket. She watched the word _Tatica_ flash across the screen. With a silent shudder she silenced the phone and dropped it back into her purse. She hugged Alexis tighter.

"Not important?"

"Him," she murmured quietly.

Her phone binged indicating a message."Do you want me to listen to it?"

She nodded and he pulled the phone out. She watched the city fly by out the window as he listened to the message on her phone.

"He sounded worried." When she didn't acknowledge him, he reached over and gently took her hand. "He said he was going to another AA meeting tonight."

She turned to face him. "That doesn't change the fact that he was sober the last time," she whispered, squeezing his hand.

"Nothing will change that fact. I'm just telling you what he said." He looked down as the word _Tatica_ flashed across the screen again.

"Turn it off."

He rejected the call and then held down the power button. "Are you sure you still want to go over there?"

Alexis perked up. "Where we going?"

"You are going to visit with Gram for a little while. Then we'll go home and have dinner."

"Can't Gram come eat with us? I wanna go home first."

"How about you visit with Gram at home?" He tried a compromise.

"Okay," Alexis nodded, and then snuggled back into Kate's shoulder.

Rick alerted the driver to their change of plans and then called his mother.

"Kate?" Alexis mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"Have you met Gram yet?" Alexis asked as she twirled a piece of Kate's hair around her finger.

"I have, she came back from her last tour a few days ago, and she's very nice. You are a lucky little girl. I don't get to see either of my grandmothers very often. My grand-mère Corinne lives in a tiny little town in Quebec called Saint-Méthode-de-Frontenac. It's a very long drive, so I usually only see her at the holidays. Remember the horse I told you about? She lives in Montrose, Pennsylvania with my baka Katja. I get to see her more, but not often enough."

"I want to meet your horse. Is she nice?"

"Lijep is a sweetheart. I think she would just love you to pieces," Kate said tugging on the end of one of Alexis' pigtails.

Alexis giggled and whipped her head around to face Rick. She asked excitedly, "Daddy, can I meet her horsey? I mean if it's okay with Katie, can I?"

"Uh... we'll see," he answered as the car stopped in front of their building. "Gram said she was on her way over, but it would be a little while. What do you say we go get you settled back in?"

"Yes, please!" Alexis cheered clutching Olivia even tighter and letting Kate's hair go. She flew out of the car as soon as the door was open and bounced by the driver as she waited on the two adults.

Kate climbed out behind her and shouldered her purse. She took Alexis' hand and stood with her by the door to the building. Once Rick was out and had come over to them with the suitcase, they made their way up to the loft.

"C'mon, Katie!" Alexis practically drug her up the stairs and toward her room. Rick chuckled and followed them up.

Alexis regaled them with stories from her latest week with her mother as she put away her clean clothes and new toys. She put all of her dirty laundry into a hamper and then put several toys into a basket at the end of her bed and shoved it to the door. "These toys can go."

"You sure?"

"Yep. One comes in two go out." She gave him an incredulous look.

"Right, I forgot your rule. I'm so terribly sorry," he teased before picking the basket up and taking it downstairs. He dropped them by the door before heading off to his room to change clothes.

"Katie, do you want to color with me?" Alexis asked as she pulled a box full of craft supplies off of her shelf and put it on the edge of her desk. "We can go downstairs, my desk is only big enough for one at a time." She pulled a collection of paper off of another shelf and dropped it on top of the box.

"That sounds lovely," Kate responded picking up the box and the paper.

"C'est génial!" Alexis grabbed the seat cushion off of her desk chair and led the way downstairs.

"Very good. You really practiced didn't you?"

"Oui!" Alexis dropped her cushion into the nearest seat at the table, and climbed up on to it. "I'm so happy that I'm too big for a booster seat, but it sucks that I'm still small enough that the table is too big. My cushion makes me just right though."

"Smart girl." Kate sat the supplies down on the table and took the seat across from her.

"Thanks!" Alexis grinned at her and then dug into the box. She grabbed a sheet of paper and sat the rest off to the side, and she pulled out a handful of colored pencils strung together with a hair tie. "Just grab whatever you need," she commented as she pulled a pink pencil from the bunch.

She noted with a raised eyebrow that all of Alexis' supplies seemed to be Prismacolor; fairly high-end for an amateur artist. Kate watched the little girl doodling for a few moments and then reached into the box to find a plain pencil. As she gently swept the pencil across the paper, her rough sketch bore more and more of a resemblance to the little girl across from her. Satisfied with the sketch she dug into the box and pulled out another bundle of colored pencils as well as a blender pencil. She set to work adding color to the drawing.

Martha swept in sometime later and dropped a kiss the child's head. "Hey there, Buttercup, glad to be home?"

"Gram! Yes! I missed you and Daddy. Katie and I were coloring while we waited for you. I'm drawing a horse. Remember that song you sing to me about Paris? It's about horses, I don't know if I ever told you that, but Katie told me. I was drawing you all the horses in the song. Well, actually, Gram, I was only gonna draw the horse once. I was just gonna trace him for the other times."

"Quite the ambitious little artist there aren't you, Buttercup?" Martha ruffled her hair, and turned her attention to Kate. "What about you darling? Glad to see the munchkin again?"

Kate looked up, and placed the pencil she'd been shading with back on the table. "Yeah, actually. I think I read half of his library while she was gone this time."

Martha chuckled, and nodded to the page in front of her. "What are you drawing?"

"Alexis." She flipped the drawing around and slid it towards Martha. It was a rather detailed drawing of Alexis coloring. Pigtails and all.

"Oh, my dear... You're quite good, you know. Take a look there, Alexis." She angled the picture toward her grandchild.

"Wow. It looks just like me. What aren't you good at?"

"Alexis!" Martha admonished.

Kate leaned across the table, and very seriously told the girl, "I can't dance."

Alexis cocked her head to the side. "I can't dance either. Maybe you could come to my dance class with me!"

Kate laughed, "I think it might be a bit late for that, but thank you for the offer."

"Look, Richard," Martha grabbed the drawing and wandered off to her son's office.

"Gram took your drawing," Alexis pouted and clambered down from the chair. She set off at a march towards her father's office.

"No, Alexis, you don't have to do that..." She jumped up and chased after her. She caught up with her just as Alexis hit the door.

"Gram! I don't think Katie was done with it. It's not nice to snatch. You taught me that."

Kate stood behind her with her eyes wide in horror and her left hand clamped over her mouth. The only thing she could do was squeak.

Martha glanced back and forth between Kate and her son. "Come along, Alexis," Martha whispered as she ushered the little girl out.

"You were going to be an artist weren't you? Before..."

"I wanted to be a teacher actually. Art was just a hobby."

"A hobby you are particularly skilled at." He held the drawing out for her, and she gingerly took it from him.

"Thank you, but I'm nothing special in the art world. I had plenty of art schools tell me that."

"Bunch of morons, if you ask me. Can I hang that on the fridge when you're done?"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," he nodded.

"I think I was ten the last time I had art on the fridge, but it's your house. Your kid." She waved the sheet of paper at him.

"_Your_ artwork," he shot right back.

"Sure. You can do whatever you want with it."

He nodded, "I might just take you up on that offer then." They looked at each other for several long moments.

"I, uh, I should go help Alexis clean up in there," she stumbled over the words as they fell out of her mouth. She turned on her heel and left the room.

"Kate, wait," he called after her as he stood up. He quickly rounded the desk and caught her elbow before she could get to the table. "I didn't mean to scare you back there. Honest," he waited a beat to make sure she forgave him. "Are you sure you want to go over there?"

"I don't want to go over there, no, but I have to."

"I feel like it means nothing to say it again, after what happened at the airport, but I won't let anyone hurt you."

"Will you come with me?" She finally turned her attention to him, and peeked up from under her lashes.

"You thought I was going to let you go alone? I had no intention of leaving your side." He let go of her elbow and brushed his fingers through her hair. "Come here," he whispered before pulling her in for a hug.

She clung to him tightly and mumbled a quick thank you into his shoulder.

"We can go another day. It doesn't need to be today. Look at me." He pushed her back a few inches, and lifted her head to lock eyes with her. "I mean it. If you want to wait to do this, we can. How ever long you need," he whispered, as he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and pulled her back into the hug.

She leaned into the hug for a moment before speaking again. "I need to do this today," her whisper was soft but strong.

"Okay, let me know when you're ready." He let her go and turned to the kitchen.

Kate sat down at the table and tried to finish shading the picture she'd started. She quit when she couldn't see past the unshed tears in her eyes and started to put away all of Alexis' art supplies. She gathered the box in her arms and started up the stairs, meeting Martha at the top.

"Are you alright, kiddo?"

"I'm fine, Martha. A little overwhelmed is all."

Martha tugged her into a hug, something Kate had quickly learned this clan was fond of, and stroked her hair. "You know, dear, that the universe never throws things at us that we can't handle."

Kate pulled back sharply and stared at Martha.

"What is it, Kate?"

"My mother... she used to say that all the time. Her immutable law." She swiped at her cheeks with her free hand.

"Smart woman. Come on, lets get you cleaned up." She pried the box from Kate's hand and led her down the hallway, stopping long enough to deposit the art supplies inside Alexis' door. She grabbed a wash cloth from the linen closet and ran it under the warm water from the faucet. It wasn't until Martha started dabbing at Kate's face with the cloth that she reacted.

"You don't have to..." Kate protested, weakly pushing Martha's hand away.

"Hush now, and let me help." She pushed Kate's hand back and rubbed away the tear stains and mascara tracks. The movements became gentler as she wiped at the bruised side of Kate's face, remembering just how tender that could be. She dropped her hands to her side. "Kate... I thought that it was healing better than that."

"It is. It was." She brought her hand up to cover it the cut.

"What happened?"

"She hit me. Told me to stay away from Rick and Alexis. He told her he was going to make it so she never got to see Alexis again, and she hit me."

Martha sighed and pulled Kate's hand down. "She should've hit him, if she was going to hit anyone. He knows how touchy she is about Alexis."

"She had already hit him." Kate closed her eyes and let Martha continue to remove the make-up and tear stains from her face.

"She has odd ways of showing it, but the woman really does love Alexis. Hates the thought of losing her so much that she sabotages as much as she can for Rick and Alexis." She made one final pass over Kate's face, being careful of the cut, and dropped the cloth into the sink. "She's not done with you yet, but hopefully that is the worst she does to you," Martha murmured as she stroked the darkened area of Kate's new bruise.

"She was livid, Martha. If she wants me gone I will go. I'm not going to get between her and Alexis. I thought she was going to kill me when Alexis tried to call her off." She ran her hands through her hair in frustration.

Martha caught her wrists, and turned on her 'I'm the mother here, and you _will_ listen to me voice,' "Now you listen to me, Katherine Beckett, that woman does not care about you being here in their lives. What she cares about is how easily she could lose them to you, and you are not going to let that happen. You are going to do everything in your power to make Alexis appreciate her mother. I know that because I know you told her about your mother. Meredith will eventually give up, but she won't go down without a fight. You just have to hold on. Richard won't let anything else happen because of her."

Kate gently wrestled her arms from Martha's grip. "Okay."

Martha nodded and squeezed her arm before exiting the bathroom.

Kate took a deep breath and faced her own reflection for the second time that day. She gingerly fingered the bruise, and hoped that it would be gone by the end of the week. She sighed and pulled on a cloth headband to hold her hair back from her face. She grabbed the small bottle of concealer from the counter and began to apply it to the reddened skin on her face.

"Make-up looks like tons of work. I don't think I want to wear any when I get bigger."

Kate fumbled with the bottle and caught it just before it spilled all over the counter. "You scared me Alexis."

"Sorry." Alexis pushed her way in and pulled her step stool around to stand by Kate. She watched studiously as Kate applied the concealer. "Definitely not gonna wear make-up when I get bigger."

Kate capped the bottle and set it down before reaching for the rest of her make-up bag. "I don't like to wear this much everyday."

"So why are you putting any on?" Alexis hopped up and perched herself on the edge of the vanity.

"I don't want anyone to see the bruise. Où est votre tigre?" Kate asked as she began to apply foundation.

"I don't know how to answer that in French. Olivia is in my room, sitting on my bed with my dollies."

"But you understood the question. That's good. That's how I learned French. I learned how to take the questions apart and figure out what each word meant. You just have to start thinking in another language, that's the trick." Kate applied a bit of blush and started on her eyes.

"Maybe after I learn a bunch of words we can spend a whole day speaking French."

Kate finished with the eyeshadow and turned to Alexis. "Okay, what's up? You are way too serious right now."

"You aren't gonna leave us are you? I heard you and Gram talking. That's not why you're going away today is it?" Alexis hung her head and let her pigtails swing forward.

Kate tipped Alexis' chin up. "Hey, I'm only leaving if your mom tells me to, and even then I'll still come see you everyday. I can't leave you with such a pitiful French vocabulary can I?"

"You'll come back tonight?"

"I'm just going to get the rest of my stuff tonight, Alexis. I'll be back in time for dinner. I promise," she whispered and held up a pinky finger.

Alexis linked her pinky finger with Kate's and smiled. "Can I try some make-up?"

Kate rummaged in the bag and pulled out an unopened package of cherry Chapstick. She popped the seal on the lid and handed it to Alexis. "This is all the make-up you will ever need."

"Cool!" Alexis wriggled down off the counter and turned around on her stool so that she could see her own reflection. She began to apply the lip balm the same way she had seen her mother apply lipstick time and time again. Heavily.

"Woah, woah, woah," Kate laughed and stopped her. "Too much. Watch." Kate pulled another tube of the cherry Chapstick from the bag and put on two quick swipes. "That's all you need."

"Really?"

"Really. A little bit goes a long way." Kate turned back her to make-up bag and put everything back inside.

"Mommy spends forever putting her lipstick on. I thought that's how you were supposed to wear it." Alexis capped the tube and dropped it into the front pocket of her shorts. She shoved her stool back into its little cubby and turned back to watch Kate tidy up the counter.

"You never want it to look like you have any make-up on." Kate pulled the headband off and fixed her hair. She held a hand out for Alexis. "Allons-y."

Alexis grabbed her hand and skipped into the hallway. "What's that mean?"

"Let's go."

"Allons-y! Allons-y! Allons-y!" Alexis let go and did a little twirl before ducking into her room to play.

Kate shook her head and continued on down the stairs; she cleared her throat nervously at the bottom. "I'm ready."

Rick's head popped out of the fridge and he he nodded, "Sure, let me grab my shoes."

Kate sat down at the table and chewed on her bottom lip while she waited. When the jittery feelings building up inside of her got to be too much she went over the door, slid her shoes on, and paced.

"Are you going to need a bag or anything?"

"No. My suitcase is still there, unless he got rid of my things after I left. If he did, then this will be a short trip."

"Okay." He opened the door and ushered her out.

Thirty minutes stuck in mid-town traffic was about twenty-nine minutes too long for Kate's nerves. Her palms had dampened as her heart thrummed in her chest uncontrollably, and her foot started to twitch as the black SUV inched forward. "I can't do this," she whispered hoarsely, only then noticing how dry her mouth had become. She hunched forward in the seat trying to quell the acid storm in her stomach.

"Okay, we can have him turn around," Rick returned in the same quiet tone, laying a gentle hand across her back and rubbing light circles.

"No! I have to go," she hissed, sucking in gasps of air as her panic intensified. "Therapist said facing him is a good thing," she choked out, lurching backwards in the seat as the car broke free from the gridlock. "Just keep talking to me. Tell me a story."

"Okay, I took Alexis to this one park all the time before she started school. She was maybe three at the time, but it was her favorite park and we went daily. She would swing and slide and we would play in the sand. We showed up one day and there was this guy sitting on a bench near the swings, he was holding a manilla folder. He handed it to me after I sent Alexis over to the sandbox. It was full of photos of Alexis and I. Walking in the park, playing, me giving her piggy back rides. There is this one that I absolutely loved, kissing a boo-boo all better.

He was a private detective that Meredith had hired, to try and prove me unfit. He told me those were the only copies of the photos and just walked away. Meredith obviously didn't get what she wanted out of it, because she was seething at the next custody hearing. The one where they awarded Alexis to me fully. I think it's part of why she moved to California, you know? Anyway, Reggie is a good guy. He keeps an ear low to the ground for me, keeping track of the paps. I get the occasional e-mail from him with updates on where to not go with Alexis, unless I want her all over page six.

I've got all the pictures at home if you want to see them later. There are few from her short lived ballerina phase. I love her to death, but she has two left feet. Mother was crushed when she found out. It doesn't matter much to Alexis though, and these modern dance classes of hers now are great. She is having a lot more fun there," Rick paused and looked over at Kate. He could feel her trembling beneath his hand. "Kate? Hey, look at me. Come on," he urged, unbuckling his seat belt and wedging himself into the floorboard space in front of her. "Look at me."

Kate took a ragged breath and tilted her head up to look at him. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears as she willed the words up out of her throat. "He used to take me to the park everyday after school, to give Mom a chance to get home before us. She told me later it was because she always wanted to be the first thing I saw when I got home. I miss her, Rick," she sobbed, leaning into his forehead and letting the tears slide free.

"I know you do, Katie. I know," he murmured, finding her hands and squeezing them tightly. He sat in his crunched up position until they reached their destination, offering her soothing words and reassurances. "Are you sure you're ready to go in there?" he asked as he pulled himself back onto the bench seat next to her, folding her into a hug.

She nodded mutely as she tried to wrestle her emotions to the side. "This is the furthest we've ever gotten, it'd be a shame to turn around now," she joked lamely, pushing back from him to dig in her purse for a tissue. Giving up her fruitless search she just scrubbed angrily at the tear tracks with the sleeves of her shirt.

"Here, stop that," he demanded softly, capturing her hands and pressing a clean handkerchief into one of them. "Take some deep breaths for me, please? Just to humor me."

Kate took several long, slow, even breaths and felt the knot of tension in her stomach loosen some. With shaky hands, she dabbed at her face and sighed into his shoulder. "Thank you for keeping me together."

"Always," he answered, rifling through her purse for some make-up. "Now you just sit still."

"What are you doing?"

"Working magic," he replied, prying his the handkerchief from her fingers and blotting at the last of the tears on her face. "You don't grow up with Martha Rodgers for a mother and not learn how to be your own make-up artist." He expertly repaired the damage done to her make-up and held the small compact mirror up for her to see.

"Wow, I almost look human again. Thank you." She pulled her bag back into her lap, and fished around in one of the pockets for a keyring. "Lets go do this, before my backbone crumbles," she sighed and shoved her purse into the floor.

"Okay." Rick scooted out of the car and held his hand out for her. "I'm going to stay by your side, the whole time. Got it?"

She allowed him to pull her from the car before she answered, "You have absolutely no idea how much that means to me."

He nodded and let her lead them into the building. She passed through the lobby with her head down, trying to ignore the strange looks she was getting from the people who used to be her neighbors. The closer they got the the elevators the the closer she got to him, by the time they'd made it into a car there was barely a hair's distance between their shoulders. He grabbed her hand when they started their ascent, wanting to give her something concrete to hold onto.

He took immediate notice when her breathing shallowed. As the car slowed he turned her to face him and spoke, "Listen to me, Katherine Beckett. You are strong. You are stronger than he will ever be, and he can't hurt you anymore. He is powerless. Got it?"

She gave him a weak nod and forced herself to take several deep breaths.

"You are in control now," he murmured, pulling her into a bone-crushing hug. They pulled apart as the doors slid open and she held his hand tightly as they made their way down the hallway to unit eight.

"I don't know whether to knock or just go in. Is this even my house anymore? Do I have that right still?" She sighed heavily and sagged into his side, neither paying attention to the figure moving up the hall behind them.

"As long as I live here this will always be your house, Katie." He juggled the grocery bags around to pull his keys out and spoke again. "I won't be bothering you while you're here, just need to drop these off and then get to my meeting. I, uh, I left a box of things on your bed. That I thought you might like. They were Jo's. She'd want you to have them," he continued, opening the door and letting them in.

He sat his shopping bags on the counter and pulled out the things he needed to refrigerate, milk, butter, eggs, a fancy cheese he liked, a container of ice cream. Kate couldn't help but notice how clean the apartment was, how warm it felt, how none of his shopping bags had that distinctive scratch of glass on glass. Her eyes traveled around the room as she took it all in, keeping her head bowed.

Jim looked at his toes as he put the last of the cold things away and ran a hand through his hair as he glanced at his daughter. She looked so much more like _his_ Katie again. "I can't even ask you to forgive me, because what I did is unforgivable, but please understand that I am incredibly sorry for the ways that I hurt you. I wish for you only the best, and if you ever need anything I'll be there. I love you." He ran a nervous hand along the back of his neck and then picked his keys up again. "I, um, have to go now. Gotta be there in 15 minutes. Take your time. I can go see a movie or sit in the library for a while after. Bye," he stuttered, moving back to the foyer.

Kate pressed herself into the wall as he passed her by and watched him leave; his exit allowed her to relax for the first time all day and she slid down the wall into a heap of limbs. Her hysterical laughter only confused Rick. "He's afraid of me," she finally choked out after the laughter had subsided. "I have a full blown panic attack over the thought of seeing him again and this whole time he has been afraid of me. _Me,_ Rick. What in the hell does that even mean?"

He sank down next to her and pulled her into a half hug. "I think it means you just proved my point. You're the one with all the power."

"You give the best hugs."

The next two hours were spent in relative silence packing up her clothing and the few odd trinkets left in her room, it was broken only by the curious questions Rick absolutely _needed_ answers to; 'How old were you here,' '_That's _your horse,' 'Is that a motorcycle helmet,' and her personal favorite, 'When are we coming back for your library?'

Kate looked over at her overflowing floor to ceiling bookshelf, if she'd missed anything in this house it'd been her books. "Tomorrow?"

Rick hummed in response as he stuffed the teddy bear into the cardboard box sitting in the middle of her bed. "That can be arranged. I know a guy. You get the box, I've got your bags," he said, hoisting the large duffle onto his shoulder and grasping the handle of her oversized suitcase.

"Could you give me a minute?" she asked quietly, shifting her weight between her feet nervously.

"Absolutely, I'll be in the kitchen." He carted her bags out the door and left her standing in the stark room.

She ran her fingertips over the edge of her desk, tracing the ornate pattern carved into the cherry wood; so many nights spent working diligently on homework, hours spent doodling in journals and notebooks, a lifetime spent exploring, highlighting, and analyzing the worlds her favorite authors had created there. A single tear broke free as she moved away from the desk and glanced at the bare walls. There were pinholes from her posters had once hung, gouges from the night her father had stormed in and ripped ripped frames down, a freshly spackled and freshly painted area behind her door that someone had clearly put their fist through. She turned back to her desk and pulled a sheet of paper from the bottom drawer. After jotting a quick note down she placed it in the center of the bed.

_I love you too, Daddy, always,_

_but forgiveness isn't something_

_I can give you right now. Maybe_

_one day, just not now._

~ _Katie_

She made a snap decision when her eyes landed on her bookcases again and she began to rummage under her bed for one of her old school bags. Pulling out a well worn messenger bag she ran a finger over the York logo and moved to the shelves; deftly, she pulled down her favorite titles, the ones she couldn't bear to be apart from any longer, and stuffed them into the bag. It barely snapped shut when she was finished. Another five were jammed into the box under the teddy bear and she scanned the shelves one final time looking for anything else she may have forgotten.

That's how Rick found her five minutes later. Still staring intently at the shelves, with the messenger bag hanging heavily off of her side and her thumbnail in between her teeth. "There is more room in this duffle bag. We could get ten or so in it," he offered, moving back into the kitchen to grab the bag.

She pulled another ten books off the shelf and stacked them on the end of the bed for him. She scrounged under the bed again for another backpack, and raked an entire shelf into it before he could get back. The seams strained heavily against the load, and the edges of the books poked angrily into her back at odd angles, but she wore the load without complaint.

Understanding her need, Rick loaded the books she pulled down for him and spoke, "We'll go put these books in the car and come back for more. Do you have any more bags?"

Kate nodded and motioned toward her bed. "There should be another backpack under there. There might be a suitcase in the hall closet." She pushed past him and out into main room of the apartment. In her frenzied haste to get across the room to the closet she snagged one of the bags on the counter and stumbled forward under the weight, only just righting herself. With a jerk she pulled the door open and eyed her prize, the rolling suitcase she'd used on every trip they ever went on.

This fire had ignited in her, these weren't just books, these were her lifelines. They'd hauled her out of countless pits, saved her from herself several times, and she couldn't leave them here. Not one of them. Not any more. She needed their tactile reminders, dog-eared pages, handwritten notes, because she suddenly couldn't see past the next five minutes of her life. She unzipped the suitcase and placed it on the floor in front of the shelves.

He stopped her before she could touch another book. "Go, take what you have down to the car, bring those bags back empty," he ordered, starting at the highest shelf and pulling the books out one-by-one to neatly stack in the suitcase, maximizing space as best he could.

She loaded herself down and headed back for the elevators. She needed the ache in her shoulders from the weight of the duffle bag she'd picked up. She needed the strain in her forearms from the weight of the cardboard box. The books on her back were surely digging bruises, and the bag slapping painfully against her thigh as she walked was sure to leave a mark as well, but she needed the distraction. The wait for the elevator was long to enough to make her consider taking the four flights of stairs down to the lobby, somehow though, she knew in the back of her mind that it wouldn't end well if she did that.

Stepping into the car she twitched nervously as it crawled toward the first floor, stopping at both floors between the start and destination. Forcing herself to ignore the intense scrutiny of the additional passengers she kept her face neutral and stared at her distorted reflection in the metal doors in front of her. Determinedly she strode toward the car where the driver was waiting next to the open trunk. He relieved her of the cardboard box and duffle bag, turning to stow those while she emptied her bags of books into the back of the car, stacking them in the corner neatly before running back into the building, taking the stairs two at a time with no load to slow her down.

She found half of her shelves empty when she got back to her room. Enjoying the burn in her legs and lungs she took the next backpack and and the handle of the suitcase, leaving the empty bags for him to continue filling.

"Wait," he called, getting her to pause at the door. She turned to look at him inquisitively, and smiled as he unzipped the front compartment on the suitcase to load even more books into.

"Anything else going to fit?" she asked, finally noticing how out of breath she was.

"No, but bring that bag back with you. After I get these two loaded, whatever doesn't fit in there I think we can carry down between us," he replied, already starting to meticulously fill the two small bags in front of him.

Feeling oddly excited she opted for the stairs again and burned off her nervous energy in the quiet stairwell. The steady thump-thump-thump of the suitcase as it bounced down the stairs behind her accompanied her thoughts. When she reached the lobby she sprinted for the doors, and once again unloaded her quarry in the trunk, haphazardly dumping the backpack out over the suitcase. The last trip up the stairs had her feeling light, and she all but floated back through the apartment with the bag hanging limp in her hands.

"So I lied, we'll need to make another trip, is that okay with... Mr. Beckett, you're back," Rick trailed off, looking over Kate's shoulder.

"I can help. I've got some boxes you can use, in Jo's office, I'll go get them." He shuffled from the room and made his way to his wife's office, leaving the other two in Kate's mostly empty room.

"York girl, huh?" Rick teased, trying to keep her mood as light as it had been.

"Huh? Oh, yeah," she answered, sitting the empty backpack down in front of the bookcase. "It was a great school."

"Good to know," he replied, sliding a few more books into her backpack. "You okay?"

"As well as can be expected," she sighed, perching on the edge of the bed. "Better than I anticipated, actually." She braced her elbows against her thighs and buried her face in her hands. "Still not good enough though," she mumbled.

They waited in silence - he doing a careful observation of her and she memorizing the insides of her eyelids.

"Creepy."

Rick grinned and zipped the backpack. "It's a gift I have, to creep with style."

"Oh so very stylish indeed," she shot back, fighting off the smile his words had been designed to create. She scrubbed at her eyes and looked up to him. "Does it get any easier?"

"No," he replied honestly, "but you learn how to live with it."

She nodded and ducked her face back down. "So there's hope," she murmured.

"Here we go," Jim interrupted, moving a stack of boxes across the threshold. "There's probably too many, but they're yours, and if you want anything else it's yours. From her office or the house. Anything."

"Don't do this, Dad. Not today," she growled.

"I'm not trying to do anything, Katie... I... Anything of hers you want you need to take now. Or soon. I can't keep living with her. Not if I want to stay out of that rabbit hole." Jim swiped angrily at his eyes and turned on his heel; moving across the apartment to his own bedroom.

"Damn him! Can you handle the last of the books?" Kate bolted from the room without waiting for an answer. She swung through the door at the end of the hall and carefully surveyed the contents of Johanna Beckett's office. Picking through the shelves she grabbed law books and photo albums, trinkets and treasures, case files and court records; everything she could carry stuffed into one of the last boxes in the room. She drug the box back out into the hallway and left it sitting by the door.

"Feel better?"

"I want to get out of here. Give me something to carry."

Rick shifted the box he was carrying into her arms and made his way back into the her room for another, and between the two of they managed to clean the rest of her belongings out of the car in another twenty minutes. The loose books were put in one of the last empty boxes and the door was locked down. "You ready to go?"

"Absolutely."

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><p>Ending notes: I'm rather pleased over all with this chapter, but the bad news is my laptop is totally dead. I can't start working on the next chapter any time the feeling hits so while I do have a general layout already for chapter 3 and an opening scene already in mind there is probably going to be a bit of a wait for you guys. I'm really sorry for that, but this story comes at me in spurts and I just have to get it out while it's there. I've also got classes to contend with. Long story short, I have no idea when this will update again, but it WILL. I'm kind of too emotionally invested in this to just stop writing.<p>

If anything sticks out as awkward to you let me know, and if one of you lovely, lovely people happens to speak Croatian drop me a PM. I'll be needing your help in chapter 3.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle, as always.

Notes: Yes, I'm a horrible person, it's been so long since I updated this. I just hit a brick wall, and I'm still climbing over it, but I tried to get what I had to a place where posting it was something I was comfortable with. I wanted this chapter to be more substantial in it's lead up to the end, because I wrote that initially, and I wanted to do it justice. Anyway, I don't know when the next chapter will happen, but I will try and not make you wait so long for it this time. This chapter on a whole is mostly unedited, and if I made a stupid mistake somewhere please let me know. Thanks to Druid1900 for the translations and insight on what kinds of food are typical in Croatian meals (I feel guilty for kind of sweeping the actual meal and food under the rug in this chapter, but I will revisit the noms!), to my anon reviewer who voiced their need for another chapter across several different stories I've posted (I promise not to leave it like this again), and everyone else who has reviewed or altered this story. This one just keeps happening, and going places I didn't know it wanted to go. I think it's one of my favorite things right now.

For Booky, who was having a bad day.

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><p>"Here's the deal," Castle started, dropping into the chair next Kate's at his kitchen table, "Alexis and I usually go to the Hamptons for the last few weeks of her summer break. I work on novels, she turns into a lobster, and we roast marshmallows every night."<p>

Kate looked up from the course catalog in front of her and waited him out.

"Thing is, she told me she doesn't want to go. When I asked her why she told me it was because of you."

"Me? No, no. I didn't do anything. I swear!" Kate exclaimed, trying desperately to fix whatever she'd done wrong.

"Hush, it's nothing like that," he interjected, effectively quieting her. "She thinks we should do something you want to do instead, and I think she's right. You've let us drag you around all summer. If you want to go to the Hamptons, that's fine, and if you want to go somewhere else, that's fine too, but we're doing something you want to do. Unless you don't want us there."

"I..." she began and then paused, completely at a loss.

"Think about it for a while, and let me know. Alexis has been authorized to use the puppy face if you refuse to pick." He smiled at her warmly and squeezed her shoulder before leaving her to her thoughts and registration decisions.

It wasn't until three days later that she finally came to him with an answer.

"Pennsylvania." Her voice was quiet, almost too quiet. She was going to repeat herself when he finally looked up from his laptop. She pressed herself further into the leather seat and watched him take in her decision and mull it over. After several moments of that silence she turned to picking at invisible lint on her sleep pants.

"Your grandparents."

Kate dug her socked foot into the plush carpet and glanced up at him. "Yeah. I used to go visit them every summer. I haven't, though... since she died. Anyway, I figured I could take Alexis riding. She keeps asking about the horse. Subtly isn't one of her strong points."

"Yeah, she's about as subtle as Jar Jar Binks," he teased, trying ease her anxieties. "So, do you just want my child or can I come too?"

"Like you would actually let me leave the state with her. Yes, you can come too. There are plenty of places you could sit down and write or read. I used to hole myself up in the loft in the barn for hours at a time and read. The smell is a bit much to get used to at first, but it's quiet. There's a pond too, if you guys want to swim. Pretty shallow, not too scummy, family of ducks."

"Sounds great, I'm in! Now, you get to go tell Alexis."

"Deda?"

"Katie? Katie is that you?"

"Yes, it's me." She laughed when she heard him cover the phone and yell for his wife, his glee-filled tone immediately warming her.

"Oh, Katie. How are you?" His thick accent wrapped around the words and she grinned.

"I'm okay, Deda. Better than I have been. I was thinking about coming to visit for a little while."

"Oh! This is wonderful news!"

"Deda, do you mind if I bring a friend?" she hedged, trying, and failing, to not not make a big deal out of it.

"A boyfriend?"

"No. Just a friend and his daughter. I... I moved out. I couldn't stay there anymore, and ended up where I am now. I'll tell you the whole story when we get there, though."

"When will you be coming down?"

"It would probably be Monday. I have to register Sunday morning, and he has meetings on Friday and Saturday. Do- Do you think you and Baka could make some of those old recipes for them?"

"Monday... Plenty of time to get ready! You come hungry."

"Love you, give Baka a hug for me okay? Tell her I love her?"

"Yes, yes. Oh, you have made an old man's day sweet girl."

"Ćao, Deda," Kate whispered, blowing him a kiss and hanging up.

"You all packed and ready to go?" Alexis asked as she monkeyed her way up onto the counter.

"I am, are you?"

"Yep. Mascara next?" Alexis shoved her hand into the bag and fished around for the tube.

"If you don't mind." Kate grinned, capping her eyeliner and swapping with Alexis. "You better be hungry when we get there, because my grandparents cook for an army."

"Why?" Alexis tucked the liner pencil back into the little pouch and twisted around to put her feet in the sink.

Kate paused and thought for a moment before finally shrugging. "They just always have. Even when it wasn't _all_ of us showing up."

"All... You have a big family. I don't. Gram and Daddy don't have anyone, Mommy has a sister but they don't talk, and I'm just a me." She pouted at her toes in the sink for a long moment before looking up at Kate and giving her a breathtaking smile. "It definitely works in my favor at Christmas."

"You can borrow some of mine if you want. My mom had five sisters and a brother, so I've got lots and lots of cousins up for grabs." She nudged the girl's knees and hauled her up off the counter to balance on her hip. "I'm also certain that my grandmother is going to take you to like a fish takes to water."

"Is that a good thing?"

"Yes," Kate laughed, "it's a very good thing. It means she'll want to make you family too."

"Great! Let's go make sure Daddy is done packing."

"Daddy, I told you to go potty when we stopped for breakfast, but noooooo, you didn't even try to go. Now you're worried you're not gonna find a bathroom, and you know what? You know what, Daddy? Serves you right!" Alexis huffed from her booster seat in the back of the car. This had been going on for about five minutes now. He would whine about how badly he needed to go to the restroom and she would lay into him for it.

Kate did her best to smother her laugh in the sleeve of her sweatshirt, and looked out the window in a last ditch effort to try and calm down. She quickly discovered that as long as she kept her focus on the passing scenery she was fine. It was every time she chanced a glance back in his direction that the whole thing started to fall apart again.

"Sure, sure, make all the fun you want, Alexis Castle. I know who sets your allowance."

"I know who edits your books," she volleyed back with narrowed eyes.

"Restroom, next exit." Kate gestured to the sign and Castle quickly, and safely, moved into the right-hand lane.

"I'm gonna be in first grade this year, Daddy. That means a whole day at school. Am I even going to have a home to come back to? Or are you gonna set it on fire again?"

"I didn't do that, Alexis. Mrs. Crabtree, below us, shorted out one of her sockets and the power surge travelled up into our sparks that shot out of the wall caught that pan on fire."

"And then you screamed like a little girl and tossed the pan into the sink and then the kitchen was on fire."

"This story just keeps getting better," Kate chuckled from the passenger seat.

"Let me drive."

"No, I can get us there," he protested.

"You've already made three wrong turns, Rick. Let me drive. Please?"

He sighed and pulled over onto the side of the road. "Do you even have your driver's license?"

"I passed Driver's Ed. with flying colors, I scored a 100 on the written exam, and the guy who administered my driving test was, and I quote, 'extremely impressed by your prowess behind the wheel.' Satisfied by that? Because I can actually get my license out for you to see if you want. Oh, I can even show you my registration and proof of insurance."

"Cute... wait, what do you have insurance for?"

"My bike. Can I drive, or would you like to take us another 30 miles out of our way?"

He put the car in park and checked for traffic before unbuckling and hopping out. "You have a motorcycle?" he asked as they passed in front of the car.

"Yes.

The woman who greeted them was not at all what he was expecting. He definitely expected taller, just because Kate herself was, and he didn't think she would be crushing his ribs, but she was. Richard Castle was getting the tightest hug of his life and being greeted in some rapid fire Croatian. When he looked to Kate for help she was leaning against the car next to Alexis laughing herself silly.

"Let him go, Baka. It's my turn," Kate chided, pushing Rick out of the way and hugging her grandmother.

Alexis slid up next to her father and wrapped her arms around his leg, holding on to him tightly. She watched curiously as Kate and her grandmother carried on a conversation in a language she didn't understand, but she was pretty sure she'd still seen this scene play out in movies.

"Oh," the woman whispered, releasing Kate, "and look at the jagodo. Hello, there beautiful child."

Alexis smiled shyly and waved at the older woman. "Thank you for letting us come with Katie."

"Friends of Katie's are always welcome, now tell me, are you hungry?" she asked, leaning down to be eye level with Alexis. "Come come, strawberry. Let's go see if there is something you might like in there, yes? If not, I'm sure we can make you something else." She straightened up and ushered the group up the front steps of the farmhouse.

"I'm sure I'll like anything you made, Daddy says I'm a gourmund. I'm not sure what it means, but he always says it after I try new things. Katie makes this yummy stuff too, that Daddy says is weird, but it's my new favorite food. What is it Kate?" Alexis was clinging onto the old woman's hand, but turned to look at Kate with wide eyes.

"Spaetzle and cherries," she supplied, following the pair through the foyer. The small entryway had a small coat closet under the stairs, to left was the living room, and to the right a dining room. Both rooms were warm and inviting, and showed signs of the years of love they'd seen. She followed her grandmother through the dining room and into the modest kitchen that made up the entire length of the back of the house.

It was there that they found Kate's grandfather cooking at the gas stove on the back wall. He had covered nearly every open space along the island counter with food, and didn't seem to be close to stopping.

"Deda!" Kate squealed, rushing at him and wrapping him in a tight hug. The stout man easily lifted her from the ground and spun with her like she was six again.

"Katie! Katie, look at you! Mother, look!" He held her by the cheeks and looked her over. Once his head to inspection was complete he placed a smacking kiss on her forehead and whispered to her in his deep baritone, "Still just as beautiful as always. Just like your mother. Now come, we eat, and then you ride. Lijep is impatient to see you!"

The view here had often left her speechless as a child and was doing no less to her today. The vibrant blue sky kissed the peak on the opposite side of the valley, and the sun sinking down behind them shot streaks of pink and orange across the sky. The murky purple of twilight was just settling over their heads when she slid off the saddle and landed on the soft grass. She cast a glance back at the redhead and asked, "Do you want to stay up there?"

"She won't mind?"

"Of course not, Jagodo," Kate answered, moving forward and brushing her fingers through Lijep's mane. She twirled the stark white hair through her fingers before moving up the creature's neck to finger the darker tresses, brown to the point of blackness. She brought her free hand up on the other side of the horses neck and looped the sweaty beast into an awkward hug; she pressed the side of her face into the mane and looked up to watch a fluffy cloud, tinted pink with dusk, float aimlessly across the sky. "Do you like her, Alexis?"

"Yeah," she grinned, leaning over the horn of the saddle to gather up a handful of mane herself. "She doesn't smell like what I thought horses smelled like, but I don't really know what I thought horses smelled like either. I just know it wasn't this."

Kate smiled and gently pulled the reins over Lijep's head; as expected the horse shuffled forward a few steps before halting again, and Alexis's eyes went wide with fear.

"Hey you, relax up there. She can tell when you're scared, and she'll get antsy. I won't let her run off with you," she promised, looping the reins around her left wrist. "We need to head back though, hold on tight to the saddle?"

Alexis nodded and sat back up straight in the saddle, gripping it just as she had been taught to do back at the barn. Kate waited for the girl to get situated before she took slow steps to turn the horse around and get her back on the trail. "You're not getting back on?"

"It's too dark to ride back down the path so I'm going to lead her, when we get back to the pasture I'll get back on okay? You just hold on tight. I'm gonna go slow too."

Alexis looked a bit apprehensive but nodded at Kate. "Okay," she said, startling when Kate stepped forward and Lijep followed suit.

"You'll be fine, Alexis. Do you want to help me brush her when we get back down there? I know you're probably getting sleepy up there." She tried to get Alexis to stop thinking about being up there alone, and figured conversation would do the trick.

"No, you said it's important to take care of her right after we ride, so I'll help. Is her hair always this long?"

"Her mane? Yeah. Tail too." As if on cue, Lijep bumped Kate's head with her own. She scowled at the horse and spoke again, "Although I was just told to tell you about the time we had to cut it all off. One of my grandfather's other horses had managed to get her all tangled up in the wire mesh separating their stalls and they had to give her a little buzz cut." Kate gave Lijep a sidelong look and brought her hand up on the other side of her face to pet her snout. "Još si bila lijepa, Li, tvoja prekrasna griva je ponovo narasla."

The horse snorted and gently nudged Kate's face again. "Još jesi, Li, još si lijepa. Što smo osjetljivi," she teased.

"Okay, I _know_ that wasn't French," Alexis said pointedly.

"I just told her she was still beautiful. She didn't think she was pretty after her haircut, she pouted for weeks after that."

"She _pouted_?" Alexis asked, disbelief written across her features.

"Oh yes. I don't remember how many ribbons it actually took, but she thought she was hot stuff with all of that pink on her. My grandmother and I spent an hour tying them into her hair," Kate smiled at the memory and continued down the path, "She looked like Sundance when we were done with her. Do you know who that is?"

Alexis shook her head as she continued to listen, enraptured. "No," she whispered, remembering Kate couldn't see her.

"My Little Pony, one from when I was your age. I think that was probably why I was using pink ribbons, I wanted her to look like Sundance; she was a pretty girl with her pink mane," she finished, stopping the horse at the bottom of the hill and tossing the reins back over the horses neck. "Okay, make room for me."

Alexis moved up in the saddle and pulled her legs out of the way. "I didn't even notice we were back in the field."

Kate placed her foot in the stirrup and hauled herself over the the saddle before answering, "And you made it down without incident... I told you she liked you. Fast?"

"Yes!" Alexis cheered, settling back against Kate and adjusting her grip on the saddle.

"Here we go!" Within moments Kate directed Lijep into a full gallop and the three of them flew down through the fields back toward the barns. She zipped back between the fence gates and took Alexis on a circuitous path through the final field to burn off the last of the her own excess energy. Her hair was flying out wildly behind her, and a huge smile split her face as they slowed down to pass back into the barn.

"That was so fun!" Alexis exclaimed, letting go of the saddle to pull her windswept hair out of her face.

"Tomorrow we need to remember to braid your hair before we go." Kate laughed, stopping in an area of the barn where all the tacking equipment was stored. "We're gonna tie her off here, okay? Then get her all cleaned up and ready for bed."

"Anything I can do to help?" Rick asked as he stepped into the barn and made his way over to them.

"Daddy! That was so much fun! We went really fast and she told me stories and she let me ride by myself; well not really, Kate was leading her and I was sitting on her, but I was up here all by myself and I wasn't scared! I was a little, but I got over it." Everything rushed out in one breath, and she collapsed forward onto the horse's neck, wrapping her arms around as far as they would go. "Thank you for the ride, Lijep."

Kate swung her leg over the side and hopped down, tying the reins to the post before going to back to pull Alexis down. "Come on munchkin, we need to get her cleaned up. Can you get the green bucket over there, and some brushes?"

Alexis scampered off and Kate squatted down to work on unbuckling the saddle.

"I've never seen her smile that big before. I've never seen _you_ smile that big before." He waited until she pulled the straps free of each other and then took the saddle off.

"Saddle rack is in the same room Alexis is in, just find an open spot," she instructed, peeling the blanket off and tossing it into a bin behind her before grabbing a towel to rub her down. Crossing wide behind the horse to pick up another bucket she filled it with water and hung it on a peg for Lijep to drink from. "Not so close Alexis, remember to go wide around her."

"Right!" Alexis took a few steps further out with the bucket and then dropped it at Kate's feet. "I got three brushes, is Daddy gonna help us?"

"If he wants to," Kate answered, emptying the bucket out and going over to one of the tack drawers. "Hah!"

"What?"

"Jackpot," Kate grinned, grabbing a fist full of the hair ties. "You can make a braid right?"

"I get to braid her hair?" Alexis squealed.

"After your brush itout, yes," Kate replied setting the hair ties on a bench, and giving her a brush. "Hop up on that hay bale."

Alexis quickly set to work on meticulously brushing out every inch of the flowing mane, all the while chattering to her about what a pretty horse she was.

Kate filled the other bucket with oats and hung it on the other peg in front of Lijep before grabbing her own brush and tossing the other one to Rick. "Work on her sides and neck. Don't go where she can kick you, got it?"

"Yes ma'am." He actually saluted, and then began to brush.

"She likes it more if you don't brush like a sissy." Kate placed her hand over his and pressed down. "It does no good to brush her if you don't actually _brush_."

"Hardy har har," he replied before taking over.

Kate grabbed Lijep's leg. "Up," she commanded, and set to work on cleaning her shoes and the thick hair that belled out over Lijep's hooves after the horse picked her foot up off the ground.

Between the three of them they got done cleaning her up rather quickly and Rick went around to help Alexis finish off the braids she was making. Kate tied one thick braid in the tail and then led her back down to the stall, producing an apple as a treat.

Lijep leaned forward to nip at it but Kate pulled it away. "Ahh, no. You need to tell Alexis goodnight first. Then you get your snack." Lijep stomped and Kate just glared. "Hold your hand out, Lex."

"Is she mad?" Alexis tentatively held her hand out in front of her.

"No."

Lijep bent her head down and grazed nose over Alexis's palm before blowing a puff of warm air in the girl's face.

"Good girl," Kate whispered, placing the apple in Alexis's open hand. "She's not gonna bite you, okay?"

"Bite, what?" Before Alexis could properly form the question in her own head Lijep had taken a big crunching bite out of the red apple. "Oh. Bite."

"Just be glad it wasn't a sugar cube, she thinks its funny to eat those as slowly as she can. Gets your hand all sticky and it tickles after a while."

Alexis grinned when Lijep came back for another bite, but this time she took the rest of the apple. "Goodnight, Kate says we can ride you again tomorrow so I'll be back in the morning." She reached up on her tip-toes to touch the end of Lijep's moving nose before stepping back and brushing her hands off on her dusty blue jeans. "I think I need a bath or three before I go to bed."

"I think you do too!" Rick scooped her up and waited for Kate to say her own goodnights and lock the door on the stall.

"We could just hose her off before we go in, it'd probably be easier."

"Kate! No! That's cold water!" Alexis tried to squirm away from her father.

"I was kidding, I was kidding," she said, throwing her hands up in surrender. "I call dibs on the shower after hers though. I'm probably covered in more grime than she is."

The trio made their way back up to the farmhouse, separating at the back door. Rick going on and taking Alexis inside to go up to the bathroom and Kate collapsing into one of the rocking chairs sitting on the porch.

"Još izgledaš kao mala djevojčica kakve se sjećam, nasmijana i sretna. Sretna sam dijete što te takvu ponovo vidim," the old woman whispered, sitting in the chair next to her.

"I'm in a good place. I think I'm finally moving forward, you know? I'm starting school again in the fall. I only need three more classes to have my degree. I'm going to finish it for her, and I know she'd want that," Kate answered, reaching over and sliding her hand into her grandmother's.

"She would. Lijepo moje, you need to come see us more often. Your grandfather was so happy to hear you were going to visit. He spent the whole morning making gnocchi, you know."

"Dinner was wonderful. I'll be sure to come visit more," Kate promised, reaching over and grasping her other hand.

"You should bring the little strawberry with you too. Such a sweet little girl."

"Yeah. She reminds me of me."

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><p><em>"You look like the little girl I remember; smiling and happy. I am glad to see this again, child." - What Kate's grandmother said at the end there.<em>


	4. Chapter 4

It's been ages since I've posted fan fiction, and now you've gotten three posts in a week. I have no excuses for how ridiculously long it took me to get this posted. I have trouble finding the mindset for this one anymore. It usually strikes me around the time I want to fall asleep and I either have to stay up and push through my tiredness to get the words out or pray I remember in the morning. This story also took a left turn, I hadn't ever really planned on taking this story to where it ended up at the end of this chapter, but it went there and the several people I consulted over it with agreed that it was okay. So anyway, I promised that I wouldn't make you all wait months for this chapter and I did, because I am a terrible person. I don't know where or when this story will happen next, because I know it isn't over. Unfortunately, the Beckett that is living in my head right now isn't this one. Maybe you can leave ideas in reviews or something, I don't know.

I do hope you enjoy it though.

Disclaimer: Everyone familiar is owned by ABC.

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><p>Kate tugged at the hem of her thin shirt, vainly trying to fan herself in the muggy night air. It was of little use, it had been threatening to storm since before lunch. Quietly filling much of Manhattan with the sticky humid air. She'd gone to bed in a ratty old t-shirt, not even bothering with pulling the covers down. A faint tapping drew her attention to the windows, had the clouds finally reached their breaking point? Then she realized the tapping was coming from the door. Timid little knocks. She pushed herself up off the bed and slid a pair of shorts on, she could suffer being decent long enough to deal with her visitor.<p>

She pulled the door open just as the first boom of thunder rolled across the sky, shaking the floor beneath her feet. The door burst open and Alexis scrambled in and over to the bed, pulling a pillow over her head to muffle the sounds of the storm. Kate didn't move toward her until the lightning outside illuminated the whole room. The little girl really was there in her bed impersonating an ostrich.

"Lexi, sweetheart?"

Alexis love that nickname, Katie was the only one who used it. She poked her head back out from under the pillow and looked at her. "I couldn't sleep. I wanted you to tell me a story, but now I'm scared."

"Of the storm?" Kate asked. She tried to recall all the time she had spent with the little family. Had she been with Alexis during a real storm before now? Sure it had rained plenty of times, but this was more than that. This storm promised to do a little damage to the island before it moved on.

Alexis nodded meekly and jammed her head back under the pillow when the windows rattled with the next clap.

Kate sighed and sat down near the little girl, absently rubbing gentle circles on her back. "I was scared of storms when I was little. It always freaked me out that my mom and dad would stand right up by the window and watch them."

"Are you still scared?" Alexis whispered, lifting the pillow up to at least see Kate.

"Sometimes, but I haven't been scared since I met you and your dad. I feel safe here, I know I'm safe here."

"It's Daddy's hugs isn't it? He gives the best hugs."

Kate grinned at her. "Yeah, he does give good hugs, but so do you and your Gram. When I was a little my mom used to make me a special cake when it stormed. Want me to make you one?"

"A whole cake? She made you a whole cake?" Alexis asked, completely gobsmacked by the idea.

"Well, yeah, but they aren't big cakes. They fit inside a bowl or a cup," Kate explained as she stood up. "You interested?"

Alexis yanked the pillow over her head and nodded as sheets of rain began pelting the glass.

"Lexi, c'mon. I need your help to make them. It's part of the recipe. It's the first ingredient, one little helper," Kate cooed, tugging the pillow away. "You do want a cake right?"

"But I'm scared, Katie."

"I'll be right beside you the whole time, and if it just gets too scary while we make the cakes you can go crawl into bed with your dad. Okay? I want you to at least try to be big and brave, can you do that for me? That storm can't hurt us while we're inside."

"I am a big girl now."

"Yes you are."

"I go to big girl school and everything."

"Yep," Kate agreed, running her fingers through the little girl's hair.

"Big girls know how to not be scared of storms all the time. I'll help."

"Good, besides, it probably feels better downstairs."

"Cos hot air rises!" Alexis chirped.

Kate chuckled and stooped over to pick the girl up. "Yeah, you're right, but I was just thinking we could stand in front of the freezer."

Alexis giggled and wrapped her arms and legs around Kate. "Katie?"

"Lexi?" Kate returned, exiting the room and heading for the stairs.

"Were you really scared of storms when you were little?"

"Do you remember when we went to the zoo last week, and we had to sit on the bench for a really long time because of that mean peacock?"

"He bit you! That's not nice."

"No, it wasn't, but we had to sit so long because I was trying not to have a panic attack," Kate explained as she maneuvered her way around the counter to a spot where she could safely sit Alexis.

"What's a panic attack?"

Kate opened her mouth a couple of times to respond, but how do you explain crippling fear and the fight or flight response to a second grader? "Sometimes when you get really scared, your body goes crazy on you and does things it shouldn't do. It makes you breathe too fast and makes your heart race and makes you feel sick and dizzy and scared. That happens to me sometimes when I get the bad kind of scared."

"The peacock scares you?"

"He reminded me of something that scared me," Kate clarified.

"So, what's the peacock have to do with storms again?"

"I used to get panic attacks during storms when I was little. That's why my mom taught me how to make these cakes. So I could distract myself and not think about the storms, plus, and this is a really cool thing, eating can make the panic attack stop. Your body will always pick digesting food over panic, always."

"Daddy got you an me ice creams that day. Did he know that?"

"He did. Now, cup or a bowl?"

"Umm, cup!" Alexis cheered, shimmying back on the counter, away from the edge.

Kate chuckled and pulled two coffee mugs from the cabinet, handing them to Alexis before setting off to the pantry to gather her supplies. "You want to do chocolate cake, or are we mixing it up?"

"What do you mean?"

Kate moved back from the shelf and turned to Alexis. "We could do chocolate or cinnamon roll or strawberry or lemon or s'mores or well, anything. We can add fresh fruit too."

Her little blue eyes went wide with wonder. "Katie, can we just try chocolate tonight?"

Kate laughed and ducked back into the pantry. "Sure can, Lexi. I'll make it extra special, just for you."

"What are you making extra special?" Rick asked from the living room, startling Kate so badly she dropped the container of cocoa. A cloud of brown powder spread up and out across the kitchen. While she stood rooted.

"Oh, Katie! Are you okay?" Alexis got on her stomach and slithered off the counter with a light thump. Rick met her just as her feet hit the ground, apologies already falling from his lips.

"Geez, Kate, oh. Wow, who knew cocoa could do that? I'm sorry I scared you, just uh, stay still okay?" Rick made tracks for the hall closet and pulled out the vacuum cleaner.

Seemingly out of nowhere Kate burst into laughter, not hysterical, but it was deep and loud and full of life. Alexis looked at Kate like she had grown another head.

Rick watched in amazement. The Kate he met nearly two years ago would have probably been terrified of some unknown repercussion, but this Kate? She was laughing. More freely than he had ever seen, and it was beautiful. Wow. She's... She's... He can't even find a word that comes close. Beautiful, gorgeous, breathtaking? None of it even touched her. "Wow," he murmured, from the edge of the kitchen.

"Daddy! You broke Katie!"

That brought Rick crashing back to Earth. It's Katie. Alexis's Katie, the scared woman he saved from herself at an airport. She feels safe. Free. He can't destroy that by suddenly falling in love with her. He can't do that to her. He tucks away that revelation and continues forward with the vacuum. "I didn't break her, Pumpkin. It's just funny, that's all."

Kate, seeming to finally sober nodded in agreement as she swiped at her cheeks. "Not- broken," she wheezed out in between sucking lungfuls of air and the odd chuckle. "Just, laughing at myself."

Alexis pursed her lips tightly and shook her head. "Growed ups."

Rick plugged in the vacuum and began to clean up as much of the loose powder that surrounded Kate as he could. When he'd cleaned up a fair amount of it Kate hopped out of the circle and dusted herself off.

"Go get cleaned up," he ordered, sucking up another pile. "I'll try and find you some more cocoa powder."

She smiled and made for the stairs, ruffling Alexis's hair as she passed her. "Be back in a few minutes, munchkin. Keep him out of trouble?"

Alexis grinned and nodded. She turned her head as something hummed to life on the counter by the coffee pot. A phone. "Daddy, it's ringing."

Rick turned off the vacuum cleaner and moved to answer it, pausing when he realized it was Kate's phone. The name on it was unfamiliar, but it also rang somewhere in the back of his mind. Like someone who got a passing mention at dinner once, or a complaint. He shrugged it off and set the phone back down, he'd just tell Kate that Zane called when she came back down. "Will you go and grab a rag from the laundry, Pumpkin? I need to wipe down the cabinets."

Alexis scampered off toward the laundry room while Rick took care of putting the vacuum away. When the pair met back in the kitchen she presented him with two rags and asked to help.

"It's my fault too. She wouldn't have had it out if I had been such a dumb baby. She was gonna make me a cake to help me be a bigger big girl."

"A whole cake?"

"She said I could get a whole cake that fit inside a cup. See," she exclaimed, pointing to the abandoned coffee mugs sitting on the counter. "She even got my favorite cocoa cup out for me."

"You weren't being a dumb baby either, you know. I'm a little scared of the storm sometimes, think Katie will make me a cake too?" he whispered, close and conspiratorial.

She thought for a moment and then nodded, of course Katie would make him a cake too! She was nice. Alexis suddenly grew very serious. "I like Katie a lot. Will she always stay with us?"

Rick cut his eyes to the silent phone, and then looked back at Alexis. "I like her a lot too. Katie will never stop being your friend. I don't know if she'll always live here, but I'm sure she would come and visit just like Gram does."

"Gram is here everyday. I love Gram. I like Katie always being here though. She's so fun and pretty and smart and nice and silly and helpful and..." Alexis drew quiet, seemingly waylaid by the revelation she ws making.

"And what, Pumpkin?" Rick questioned dropping his rag to the ground and pulling Alexis into a bear hug.

"I wish Katie was my mommy. She's like the mommy all the little girls have in movies, not like mine," Alexis croaked out, battling a sudden onset of tears.

"No, baby, she's not like your mommy but I swear to you, Alexis, I swear, she will always be there for you, even if that means she has to take the subway and not just the stairs or three steps across the hall." Rick clutched her tighter and rocked, neither occupant noticing the figure on the stairs.

Kate swiped at her eyes and quietly descended the last few steps, now chocolate free. She fell to her knees behind Alexis and hugged her as well. "I love you, Lexi, you never have to worry about me leaving you," she sobbed into thick braid of red hair.

They stayed like that, as the storm raged outside, until Alexis finally got herself pulled back together. She sniffled as she snuggled deeper into her father's chest, but no longer deep in the throes of crisis. With a breathy sigh she slumped down, falling into a heavy sleep.

"What happened?" Kate asked in a quiet, concerned voice. She moved back and helped leverage Rick up from his squat on the floor. "She was fine when I left."

"I honestly don't know where that came from, I'm gonna settle her on the couch." He moved around her and toward the living room, turning back at the corner of the counter to speak, "Zane called while you were upstairs, I didn't answer, but ..."

"Seriously? Again?"

Rick frowned and quickened his pace, had Kate found herself in another bad situation? He tucked Alexis in on the couch and made his way back. "What do you mean again?"

"I don't know why I still have an ear, we must've talked earlier today for close to two hours. I like him and everything but geez."

"You like him?" Rick had a gnawing feeling settle into his gut. Kate had a boyfriend.

"Oh, yeah," she grinned, "he's hilarious."

Rick gave her a half nod and a pinch of a smile. He sucked it up and asked the tough question, "Is he good to you?"

"Yes," she mocked, chiding his father routine just a bit.

"Is it serious?" His voice was low, unsure.

She snorted. An honest to God snort. "Yeah, about as serious as a bee-sting is to a couch. We're friends, Rick. I'm soooo not his type." She gave him a good natured shoulder bump and grabbed the rag Alexis discarded to help him clean the cabinets.

"I can't imagine you not being anyone's type." The comment slipped out unbidden, crap. Could he pray she didn't hear that?"

"Well it probably doesn't help that I have boobs, he's gay, Rick. In that sort of flaming stereotyped way." She squeezed his knee and grabbed a bottle of cleaner from under the sink. They cleaned in silence, and she leaned in to press a soft kiss to his cheek when they were finished. "Besides," she whispered, "he's not my type. I appreciate you worrying though, thank you."

He gaped at her as she snagged the dirty rag and headed toward the laundry room. Did she just- No. No, she didn't- Him? He scrambled up off the floor and went after her. "What does that mean?"

She shook her head and gave a small smile, bottom lip ticked between her teeth. "It means he doesn't possess all of the qualities that I find important in someone I could see myself loving."

"Like?"

"Well, for starters he is an incredibly narcissistic S-O-B, a little vain I can handle." She have him a pointed look and continued, "He can't cook, he can't share, he has no respect for theater, he's kind of shallow, he's blonde."

"Don't like blondes?" he teased.

"Not since Lee Simpson in kindergarten, the little jerk stole my cubby hole and my box of crayons. He used me!" she lamented as melodramatically as she could.

"Poor Kate," he placated, looping his arm over her shoulders and leading her back out to the kitchen. "Anything else I should know about your taste in men?"

"What about your taste in women? I know your last date was forced upon you by your agent."

"That woman was vapid. Such a blank stare, and no... She was a rock, Kate. A rock with lips. Terrible." He still cursed Paula for that date. "I need substance, a mystery, an equal and an opposite."

Kate have him a shy smile and ducked his partial embrace at the fridge. "I like guys older than me, not a lot, but you'd be amazed at how much of a difference a few years can make." She grabbed a bottle of water and turned around, startled once again by his presence, though this time it was his proximity. "I, uh, am a sucker for eyes too. Love getting lost in-"

"Yeah, no, I totally understand that."

"Strong is good too, not just physically, but..."

"Yeah."

"Rick," she murmured, equal parts shyness and apprehension.

"Huh?"

"No, I... you. You're the kind of guy I'm attracted to. You're everything I'm attracted to. You pulled me back from a ledge and you helped me find my own feet again. You saved me, and I will forever be grateful, but somewhere in all of the time that's passed it changed. I even asked my therapist about you."

He stepped back, giving her a chance to move and him a chance to reacquaint his body with self control. His mind was also reeling. She... liked him? Yeah, he had never seen her date, but he thought it was because she was still a little distrustful. All men being conflated with her father, and yeah, she has reached a tentative balance with him. They talk occasionally on the phone, he sent her a birthday card and she didn't trash it like the last one, and she even let it slip late one night that she thought she might be able to forgive him. But to suddenly realize that she had a crush on him, and has had one for some time, well, yeah, he's feeling a little high. He settled back against the counter and watched her face, looking for any sign of, anything.

"He told me I was being silly," she began, popping the bottle open and completely missing the way Rick deflated. "I was worried that it was some kind of hero worship, you know? Dr. Burke just chuckled when I said that. Told me to leave the psychology to him, because if it was just going to be hero worship I would've noticed it and acted on it long before now. It seems we have a healthy bond considering the situation, fruitful is the word he used."

She reached across the distance and held her hand out to him, in invitation.

"If I come over there, I'm going to kiss you."

She dropped her hand back to her side and pushed away from the fridge. The three steps between them seemed to take an eternity for her to cross, but then she reached his side and laced her fingers through his. "I'm kind of okay with that."

He released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and turned to face the woman in his kitchen. As much of a friend as he had been to her while she was healing herself and her wounds, she had been there for him. Keeping him sane in the midst of Meredith's drama, grounded in spite of his ever growing fame, and she made his little girl smile every single day. She'd been his go to girl, for everything. Which tie? Will you proofread? Pizza?

While his inner monologue ran him round and round, she brought her free hand up to cup his face and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. She pulled away and smiled at his flabbergasted expression. He was acting the same way she did after her first kiss. All kinds of frozen up on the outside, but his eyes were on fire. With a squeeze to his cheek she moved back toward the pantry, letting her fingers trail down his arm as she went. Belatedly he noticed their still linked fingers, and rather than letting her go or pulling her back, he just followed. Crowding her at the cabinet as she pulled flour and sugar to the front. Dutifully he took the items she pressed into his hands. Finally releasing his grip when she tried to gather her own quarry.

"Set that stuff on the counter, and put some berries and a little water in a sauce pan," she instructed, placing the other ingredients on the counter and going for a third mug and measuring spoons. "Put some sugar in too. Just enough to coat."

He nodded and gathered ingredients to do as she instructed, while she set about measuring out all the dry ingredients for each mug.

"You kissed me."

"I did."

"Just checking." He turned his attentions to the stove and began to cook the fruit mixture down.

Her lower lip disappeared between her teeth as she stirred in the wet ingredients. In silence she began to cook each cake, placing the mugs in the microwave one at a time and watching them spin.

"Is this weird now?" he asked as she pulled the last mug from the microwave, some 15 minutes later.

"Doesn't have to be," she replied, putting the mug down and leaning over the pot next to him to inspect the fruit.

"Kate." He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and waited for her to look up. Almost shyly he captured her lips and threaded his fingers into the loose knot of her hair. He even managed to kill the heat under the fruit before she could respond.

And respond she did. Her left hand fisted in the ragged green t-shirt he wore, and her right smoothed up over the Green Lantern logo until it rested on his shoulder. A breathy sigh escaped the back of her throat when he pulled her flush against him, and on instinct her tongue darted out seeking entrance, licking at the hard press of his teeth each time his lips parted. Rick met her blow for blow after that, or lick for lick rather. They wrestled for dominance until Alexis groaned from the couch.

"Daddy?"

They parted with an audible pop, and Kate quickly spun toward the stove, giving the cooling fruit a few swift stirs, Rick wiped at his mouth and hair as he strode toward the couch. Deeming the fruit done she pulled the pot from the stove and carried it over toward the mugs as she listened to the quiet murmuring from the other room. She was busy doing her own fair share of silent freak out herself, they had KISSED. Humming, everything was humming. Her hair, her toenails, that little patch of skin on her elbow.

She scooped a dollop of the fruit into each mug and grabbed spoons before making her way into the living room with the treats. "Anyone want some cake?"

Alexis eagerly grabbed the mug and a spoon and curled into her father's side. "Cake! I still get a cake!"

Kate grinned and passed another mug to Rick before settling down on his other side.

"Cake and a me sandwich. Best night ever!" He took a big bite of the cake and cast a berry stained grin at his daughter. "Feel better pumpkin?"

"Uh-huh, is it still-eep!" she yelped, and nearly sent her mug of cake flying as thunder roared outside. "Yes. Yes, it is still raining." Alexis cuddled closer to her Dad and stuffed a bite of cake into her mouth.

"Sorry it isn't chocolate, Lexi."

"It's better than chocolate!" she mumbled around her mouthful of food. "Thanks, Katie."

"You're welcome, Lexi," Kate smiled at her and started in on her own snack. The trio ate in relative silence, all watching the play of light and sound and water against the glass.

"It isn't so scary with cake and a hug," Alexis whispered as she began to droop once again.

Rick took the empty mug and passed it down to Kate before scooping his daughter up. "I'll take her up and then come help with the dishes."

Kate nodded and watched as he carefully and effortlessly took her upstairs before she rose and gathered up their mugs. She was making a final swipe in the sauce pan when he came back down, the coffee mugs and some utensils waiting patiently in the sink. Like the team they are they knocked those few dishes out in a few minutes.

"Come sit with me?" he asked quietly, handing her the dish towel to dry her hands.

She nodded and gave her hands a quick swipe before following him over to the couch. He was tugging her down and into his side, just like he would when she was having a panic attack. Or those few times he'd found her on the couch after having nightmares and would hold her tightly as she rode the adrenaline and the fear out. She curled in like she always did, with her head pressed into the joint at his shoulder and her knees tucked up to her chest. They'd spent a lot of time like this.

"We kinda made out in the kitchen," he said, figuring the obvious was as good of a place as any to start.

She burrowed deeper into his side, in spite of the wet heat that still lingered in the air, and replied, "You kissed me that time."

"I sure did. Pretty great kiss too. Don't want to toot my own horn, but beep beep."

She laughed, not quite the belly laugh that stunned him in the kitchen, but it was just as warm and full. Even when it trailed off into a breathy huff of air. "Yeah, Rick, you're a good kisser."

"You're no slouch. I think my toes actually curled," he goaded, trying to get her to look up or laugh or anything really. He didn't care. Unless it was leaving. He didn't want that.

She actually snorted, as she pushed back to look up at him. "Is this what I have to look forward too? Cheesy jokes and enough sap for three romantic comedies?"

He pretended to think for a few moments before nodding emphatically. "Probably."

Kate rolled her eyes and gave him a mock sigh before curling back into his side. "Movie?" she asked, tucking her toes under his thigh.

"To actually watch or to use as an excuse to make out to?" He playfully waggled his eyebrows and dislodged her to go pick a movie.

"Easy tiger. To watch."

"Good, I'm not that kind of guy. I don't kiss on the first date." He popped 'The Princess Bride' into the DVD player and then jumped back onto the couch, tossing himself through the air rather than going around the coffee table. He landed with a thump, rocking the couch. With a sheepish grin he stretched out and pressed his back into the back of the couch. "I do cuddle though. On first dates."

She cocked her side to the side and this soft look was on her face. He couldn't quite read it, but she finally, finally sighed in defeat and moved herself into his arms. With their feet tangled, her back pressed against his chest, and his head resting on top of hers they watched the movie like they had a hundred times before. She was asleep before they ever got to requisite quote-off with Vizzini, lulled by the steady rain the storm had decayed into. He didn't have the heart to move her, or the will power.

When they woke up the next morning Alexis was staring at them with her hands on her hips, and her head bent so far to the side it was a miracle she actually was upright still. Kate woke first, squinting against the sun, but seemingly unperturbed by the scene the little girl was witnessing.

"You have a bad dream after Daddy took me to bed?" Alexis asked quietly, mostly not wanting to wake her father up, but maybe she also knew somewhere inside it would be best to not startle Kate.

Kate blinked once, twice, three times, before slowly sitting up and finding her equilibrium. She unlinked his arms and slid away, shooing Alexis to the kitchen not speaking until they were looking into the fridge for breakfast.

"No, I didn't. We were watching a movie."

"You never watch movies like that. Did you have a panic attack?" Alexis queried, dropping Monkey Bunky and her tiger to grab the jug of apple juice she wanted.

"No, I didn't," Kate answered carefully, as she took the jug and went to get a cup from the cabinet.

"Oh." Alexis was stumped. What other reason was there? "Did Daddy have a bad dream or a panic attack? I think I scared him last night."

Kate poured the juice and turned to squat to eye level with the little girl. "You're dad is fine, he didn't have a bad dream or anything like that. I just," she started, trailing of limply as she tried to figure out the right words. Or find any words really. "I think..."

"What?" Alexis asked, impatiently tapping her purple polished toes on the green mat under her feet.

"Lexi, I- I think I'm dating your Dad. I think we sat down to talk about some stuff and then we decided to watch a movie. He asked me to cuddle and I said okay. We must've fallen asleep though, and now it's morning. And you found us and-"

"Slow down!" Alexis demanded, seeing Kate begin to run off the tracks and into the ditch. "You're dating my dad?"

"I- think so?" Kate replied, they didn't actually talk about it, but he did keep saying first date and it felt like a date. Just not a first.

"Well it's kind of a yes or no question, and don't pull that conflipated stuff on me. This isn't long division."

Kate bumped foreheads with the little girl and released a tiny chuckle. "Complicated, Lexi, and I guess yes."

"That's what I said, conflipated!"

"Is that okay, your dad and I?" Kate asked quietly, pleadingly.

"Duh, you are so weird sometimes Katie." Alexis turned and headed off to the living with her juice to watch cartoons.

Kate slumped against the cabinet and banged her head back against it once. "You never answered my question," she muttered, closing her eyes.

"For seven on a Saturday, that's about as close to a yes as you're gonna get from her. You know that," he murmured, sitting down next to her. "You asked my daughter if it was okay to date me."

"I- we'll, yeah," she returned, opening here eyes and looking at him. "She's your kid."

"Last night she told me she wished you were her mother, it's a pretty safe bet she is on board."

"I heard her."

He smiled and kissed the top of her head. "I saw your feet, but I was really just saying that to remind you of what you already knew."

"You're my best friend. Are we dating? Are we past that? Are you my boyfriend? Do we tell people? Are things going to change? I mean-"

He cut her off with his mouth, sliding his tongue past her lips and swiping the rest of her words with a flick of it. That was as deep as he took the kiss, letting her set the pace. When she broke away on an inhale he grinned. "Morning, mine too, yes, no, definitely yes, if you want, probably."

She stared at him dumbly for a few moments. "Right, morning." She slumped further into his side after that, all of her morning pep having been sucked out. After a beat she spoke again, "Will you make bacon and pancakes?"

"Blueberry?"

"Surprise me," she replied, sitting back up. After a quick but thorough kiss she was up and around the corner, in dire need of some morning cartoons herself.

"Surprise me, she says. This is a recipe for disaster, and I know it," he sighed and got up to fetch all of the ingredients he needed for breakfast. Unable to choose a suitable surprise he gathers a myriad of pancake add-ins: chocolate chips, blueberries, bananas, strawberries, marshmallows, caramel sauce, drained crushed pineapple, coconut flakes, and he knows he is going overboard, but /surprise me/ she says.

He makes batches of pancakes in various combinations of goodies and sets them out along the counter in stacks of three. It's the smell of bacon that finally draws his girls back into the kitchen, and Kate stifles a laugh at what had to be 20 plates of pancakes scattered around the expansive kitchen.

Alexis is staring in wide-eyed wonder at all of the breakfast around her. "Daddy, are people coming over?"

"Katie wouldn't pick out what kind of pancakes to make, so I got creative," he explained, pulling clean plates down.

"After that smorelette fiasco I'm not to sure I trust your creativity with food."

"Okay one, you said surprise me. Two, it was not gross-"

"Yes it was," they chorused.

He dutifully ignored them and continued on, "Three, I totally resent that. And Four, argue after you eat the coldest ones are that way." He pointed to the plates at the end of the counter and took his last batch to sit with the others on the dining room table.


End file.
